Tithes and Offerings

It wasn't our family's finest moment. Our church believes in paying a ten percent tithe and last night was our annual tithing settlement with the Bishop. It should be a happy, testimony-building experience. It shouldn't include weeping and wailing.

Abby enjoys money. She doesn't enjoy it for its purchasing power, she just appreciates the feel, the smell, the look of money. For Christmas she received a twenty in the mail from her Grandpa Kelley. She had no plans to use it; she just liked having it.

So on the way to tithing settlement we explained to Abigail the purpose of tithing and how her two dollars would help the poor, contribute to church and temple building, assist the needy in times of disaster. She wasn't budging. She wanted her twenty. We told her that once we gave her a ten, a five, and three ones in exchange for her twenty she'd really have more money. No go. As we pulled into the snowy church parking lot I was beginning to feel a bit frantic about how I'd get that two dollars.

We entered the Bishop's office and took our seats. I felt disaster was imminent. The poor unsuspecting Bishop asked Abby, "Are you a full tithe payer?" A simple question.

"Sometimes," she whispered, turning towards the wall. The Bishop looked at us and we just shrugged. We'd tried. It was his turn.

"Don't you think you should be a full tithe payer all the time?" He said it very gently.

"I want to keep my money," and her chin started to quiver. Her shoulders moved up and down. And then she sobbed. Loud, wailing sobs.

I attempted to comfort Abby and the Bishop turned his attention to Madeline. He asked her some general tithing questions, possibly to educate her younger sister on the finer points of the ten percent tithe. Madeline answered loudly over the din of her sister. "When you pay your tithing you're telling the Lord that you're willing to make a sacrifice." Abby screamed louder.

The Bishop moved onto the rest of the family. All proceeded without incident and the mood was lightening. Abby had down-graded from sobbing to quiet weeping when Maya loudly passed gas. Her offering. We asked the Bishop if we could possibly exit, re-enter, and try again. A tithing settlement do-over.

In the end the Bishop never got his two dollars. At least he hasn't gotten it yet.