Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Are Your Teeth Smiling?

"Mom, should I do retakes? I forgot to smile with my teeth."

And speaking of smiling teeth, look whose teeth are FINALLY get some attention from the dentist. I'm in close contention with the kids for the title of Most Ignored Patient. What's that saying about the shoemaker's wife? Or I guess it's shoemaker's kids. Anyway, it's the same difference. We get no shoes and no bleaching trays. I've been asking for these for months and the answer has always been, "When I get a chance," or "I'll give you a call if a spot opens up," or the humiliating, "You'll get your bleaching trays when you start flossing better," as if the bleaching trays will drop out of the sky as a reward for exemplary hygiene. I can attest to the fact that they won't because I've been such a dutiful flosser. I even made a chart to prove my worthiness. I showed the chart to my dentist who was very complimentary but still my teeth were no closer to being pearly white.

So, last week I dropped off Maya at school and without an appointment just stopped by the office and had a chat with the assistants. I now know that this is the way to get things done. They made me a mold lickity split and Lyle brought my lovely trays home a few days later. But he neglected to bring home the bleach. I bugged him for days about that oh-so-crucial component of the bleaching trays but once again I was forced to take matters into my own hands and go to the office and get it myself. I'm trying to think of a phrase that conveys my experience that getting my dental work done is really hard and time-consuming but the only thing that comes to mind is "like pulling teeth", and that seems a little too cutesy in this post.

In addition to bleaching Lyle plans to give me (maybe as a present) a gingevectomy and root planing. (I know there's a way to make those words show up as a link you can click on to give you information but I don't know how to do that more advanced bloggy skill.) Anyway, in a nutshell, I think I show too much gum when I smile and Lyle is going to make that all better. The assistant said I should probably have him sleep elsewhere that night. I've also asked him if he could fix my crooked bottom lip but he said he doesn't do lips. He did say he'd chat with an oral surgeon today and see what they can do. So, I'm having a little "work" done. It's a good thing I didn't marry a plastic surgeon. Not that he'd ever get around to the face lift his wife's been begging for.


Jen Bay said...

You know what they say, if you want something done, you'll have to do it yourself...

Lisa said... have beautiful lips. And a gorgeous smile. You crazy, girl. But I AM SO JEALOUS!!!! I want bleaching trays!!! And all that other stuff..maybe...I don't know...the root planing sounds scary. Hmmmmm....maybe if I ever get up to your neck of the woods, Lyle can do BOTH me and Gracie.

PS To do the link thing, just when you are writing the post, there is a little funny looking button at the top of the bar where you write the post and for some reason it looks like an owl to me, I think, and anyhow, if you put the cursor over it, I think it says link, and you just highlight the words that you want to attach the link to, and press the button, and then it will let you type in the link URL, and you do that and hit enter and voila! You look like a seasoned blogger. I think. Call me if it doesn't work and I will figure it out with you.