Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wicked Subconscious

I get up with Adam every morning at 5:45. I make him breakfast, throw a lunch in a paper sack, and sit at the table commiserating with him that yes, it's WAY too early. And every morning I stay awake after his ride comes to get him at 6:25. I write my blog post, I read, on rare occasions I exercise. But this morning the couch looked inviting. So, so inviting. I snuggled up under a blanket and went to sleep. I don't recall Lyle leaving, but that must have happened.

And then I woke up in a panic. What time is it? I jumped up off the couch and ran to the microwave but it was just flashing zeros. I kept pressing buttons to try and clear the zeros, but they wouldn't go away. So I went to the computer and looked and looked for the time. It's there somewhere, isn't it? Aren't I usually able to read the time on the computer? I'm pretty sure I can. I squinted my sleepy eyes and searched in each of the corners, along the top, along the bottom, no time. Where is that dang clock? Just when I was about to give up, the time flashed across the screen, bold as brass:


And it kept changing colors, and then it got smaller and bounced around the sides of the monitor. That's never happened before and I blinked my eyes to make sure I was seeing it right. And then the numbers got big again and pulsed 6:58, 6:58, 6:58, 6:58. Strange to be sure, but not something I wanted to analyze at...what time was it? Oh yeah, 6:58. So I shuffled back to the living room and went to sleep.

"Mommy, why you sleepin' on the couch? It's morning time." It was Maya fully dressed--purple shirt, purple skirt, hot pink tights, red shoes--breathing her morning breath right in my face. "It's time a eat breakfast."

"Maya, it's still really early. I just checked. You don't need to wake up yet. You want to lay down under the blanket with mom?"

"I really hungry and it's morning time. Wake up."

I laid there on the couch and then suddenly remembered our non-working microwave and psychedelic computer. I jumped up, pushed past the girl in the strange outfit, and looked at the microwave. There it was working perfectly and glowing: 8:25.

I raced upstairs clapping hands and yelling, "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Abby! Stop stretching! You have no time to stretch!" Up to the third floor, "Madeline, wear this! Catch!" Back downstairs, "Grab a piece of bread! Eat it in the car!" I threw Abby her backpack, Maya her coat, "Out the door, Out the door!"
The scene looked very similar to this:

So shame on you subconscious for telling me that whole 6:58 lie. Shame on you for turning me into the wicked witch and my girls into frazzled winged monkeys. Not nice. I hope you're happy that Abby is at school with bed-head and that Maya's breath is killing her teacher and that Madeline's stomach is growling. No, I'm not the wicked one, it's you-- wicked, wicked subconscious!


akwebb3 said...

That is so funny because just this morning my alarm went off and I got up. I went and got Aidan up. He got right up without a fight. Got in the shower and even got clean without me telling him a million times. While he was showering I got Jessica up and she too did not complain. She got right up and got dressed. She brushed her own hair and got her shoes and socks without any argument about how she "can't find them". Before I knew it both of them were dressed and ready to head out the door with backpacks in hand. I thought it had been such a pleasant morning it was going to be a great day for sure. But then Callie came in Licking my face. Amazingly no matter how hard I tried I could not get her off me. Perhaps if I open my eyes and sit up that would help. Yes of course it was all a dream. A really convincing dream too. The kids were still in bed asleep and school had started 5 minutes ago. So just like you we were all rushing out the door this morning. When I was checking them into school (20 minutes late) I asked the ladies at the desk if a mother's stupidity was a good excuse for the tardiness of her children they just laughed. But it actually is funny because as it turns out there were 5 other kids just in Aidan's class who were late because there Mom's had over slept. Must be something about today's date. Perhaps it is National Sleep In Day and we all just don't know it.

Kelly said...

Nice Post Eileen. I wanted to be brief.

Jen Bay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jen Bay said...

My morning routine: I wake up with Cameron at 5 am, wake up but not get up... I listen to him turn on the shower, and then at 5:10 I get out of bed just enough to knock on the wall of my bedroom that shares with the shower... his clue to get out... (otherwise he would stay in there for 30 minutes) I doze a bit, and kiss Dave good bye at 5:30 AM, when he goes downstairs to leave for work after dropping off the kids at Seminary. My alarm goes off at 6:30 when I groggily drag myself out to the hall to make sure Austin and Laura's lights are on, okay good, and crawl back into bed... dozing till 7 AM when I go downstairs just in time to have scriptures and prayer, make sure they have their lunches (which I packed the night before) and push them out the door at 7:12 AM. Then I work very hard at talking myself out of crawling back into bed, which is twice as hard if I happen to have the flannel sheets on the bed at the time...

Terynn said...

I don not recall how I came to find your blog, but I think this is the first time I've commented. You are wicked (haha) funny and I have come to look forward to your humorous take on life and kids and vocabulary. Thanks for the fun!