*genealogy and family history
*research (into a variety of topics)
*cooking (Lyle liked that short-lived stage)
*horses (they now live elsewhere)
*scrapbooking (currently I'm YEARS behind)
*all things adoption (still love it, but you can only read so many websites)
So when Lyle saw me in my antsy state, he crossed his fingers and made sure cookbooks were easily accessible. I told him I wanted to write. He was relieved---no large purchases of farm animals. And as always, he was unfailingly supportive.
One of my very earliest school memories was the day I realized that not everyone can write. I don't mean forming letters, but putting something readable down on paper. I stink at math. I stink only slightly less at science. To know I was good at something, or at least better than average, made me very happy indeed. When I saw people struggling with writing, my advice always was, "Just kind of 'talk' onto the paper....but with a little more thought." It felt very natural to me and through the years essay tests have saved my bacon in many a class.
So I wanted to do something I'd never really done before---I wanted to TRY to write. I started the blog as kind of a daily warm-up and I worked hard on some pieces and sent them to publishers. To my surprise, I had success. Lyle and the kids were so proud of me. I was proud of me. I knew that if I desired a writer's life, I could have it. But here's the epiphany:
Sometimes knowing you can do something, is as satisfying as actually doing it.
I know writers who can devote a tiny part of their day to writing, but I can't. When I'm writing something, something that I'm really trying to make good, it's on the brain 24/7. I wish I could compartmentalize my life a little bit more but I don't think I'm wired that way. As much as it's satisfying to see my name in print, there are things that are infinitely more satisfying. And as much as I love writing, I love these guys more.
I'll definitely keep the blog, but I might not update as frequently. Cholita needs someone to read her a story. Bruder needs to talk about all the craziness of being a teenager. Lucy needs someone to appreciatively listen to her practice the piano. Rose desperately needs her hair combed. And yes, on occasion Lyle needs a decent meal. It's the one obsession that's stuck--my family.