Connecting the Dots--Three Year Old Style

Yesterday morning Maya climbed into our bed and said, "You weren't my mommy. China was my mommy." She didn't say it sadly or angrily, just matter-of-factly.

It took me completely off guard. Lately she's been asking if she was in my tummy. She knows she wasn't and that her sibling were, but I've certainly never put it in terms of: Mommy/Not Mommy. Somehow Maya decided that at least on some level tummy = mommy. My knee-jerk reaction to what she said was to feel hurt. "I AM your mommy now and forever."

"Yes," she said, almost like well, of course, "but China was my mommy."

I couldn't argue. And I couldn't even necessarily come up with someone more specific than "China".

Then she asked if we could tell her about it. We got out a little book and snuggled together as we looked at pictures. I showed her the spot outside the orphanage where she was found. She's seen it before, but this time when I said, "This is where your China Mommy laid you," she said, "No." And her chin quivered. "No, because I would cry."

And then this morning, like no time had passed, she climbed into bed, snuggled up, and asked, "Why didn't China take me inside?"

My throat balled itself into a knot. "China Mommy couldn't take you inside."

"Oh," and she was quiet for several seconds (a long time for Maya) "But you could take me inside, right?"

"We could take you wherever we wanted."

"Even to go buy skirts?"

And I laughed. Thank you China for this precious girl.