Dear State Department,

I know you're busy.   I really do.  What with diplomacy and foreign relations and all, I can see why it might be difficult to stamp a paper.    I visualize a desk there at the Truman Building that's simply covered with papers, all needing stamps.

I'm sure it's overwhelming for your person who is in charge of the all-powerful stamp and sometimes they might just want to take some time off.  Is that what's happened, State Department?  Have you all gone on holiday?  Your website says that you will authenticate documents in approximately 8 business days.  I realize this is an approximation, but I'm quite sure that one whole month is longer than 8 business days.

You've asked that no one phone or e-mail you, as that would surely add to your stress, but the fax number which you've so graciously given, which I've faxed, has yielded no results.  The People's Republic of China has given us a deadline of October 23rd to have all of our documents stamped, sealed, and delivered.  State Department,  please put your stamp on that paper.  Our Utah marriage certificate is legit.  I promise it is.

A boy in China waits while our paper gets dusty on someone's desk.

Stamp it already.

Sincerely,
An Impatient Family

P.S. And just to foster a little healthy competition, I  thought I'd let you know that the Secretary of State Offices of Washington, California, Utah, and Oklahoma, the Chinese Consulates in both San Francisco and Houston, and yes, even The Department of Homeland Security have all beaten you soundly and left you in the dust.