Getting There is Half the Fun

Whoever coined this phrase must have traveled via ferry boat!

Maya wags her finger at Madeline and says, "Hey, back away from my muffin!"

Abby makes us chuckle

I don't see how anyone could possibly not like Abby. Adam may object, but probably more accurately, I should say I don't see how anyone could fail to be amused by Abby. She has always been a fiesty and full-of-life little spirit. This recent picture of her out in the kiddie pool with Maya perfectly expresses her personality. Things with Abby are always big. If she's happy, she's ecstatic. If she's mad, she's ready to explode. If there's a reward to be had, you'd better get out of her way because she'll bulldoze past you to get it.




I remember Abby's nursery leader saying of 2 year-old Abby, "She's small in size only." Very, very true as I think this recent story will illustrate:

Over the past few months the first and second grade classes at Abby's school have been preparing a musical called, "To Bee or Not to Bee". Abby informed us with great excitement that she'd been chosen to play the Queen Bee. She practiced her lines diligently and was counting down the days until the production. One day I saw a notice in her backpack that said all of the students from her class were going to be worker bees. I asked her about this and she was adamant that she was Queen Bee. I called the music teacher just to be sure. The teacher told me that she hadn't made any final decisions regarding the main roles, but that Abby was certainly a good candidate and she should keep practicing her lines. Well, a few days later, the teacher called me during the middle of the school day and said she'd posted a list of the main characters and that Abby was crushed that she hadn't been chosen as Queen Bee. She mentioned that there was a still a part open for Daisy the flower and that she thought Abby would be perfect in that role.
Abby came home that day requiring lots of TLC, but I convinced her that she could be a wonderful flower. The next day Abby came home once again pretty crushed because she hadn't been cast as the flower, but was the understudy flower. As the time for the production neared, I just avoided the subject since I knew it was a bit touchy with Abby. One day when it came up, I reminded her that she'd be a perfect flower. Abby shouted, "BACK-UP flower! And the REAL flower looks really HEALTHY!" Oh my, Abby!

Well, last night was the long-awaited show. There were several different flowers and each flower had an understudy flower who was also in the flower costume. When the flower scene started, all of the legitimate flowers and their understudies came to the front of the stage. They needed to pass a microphone around so each of the rightful flowers could say their lines. When the microphone was being passed, Abby kept reaching out her hand to grab it and it was obvious that she was about to pounce at any minute. The look of determination on her face made us nervous and Lyle mumbled to himself, "Don't do it, Abby!" Sure enough, when the Daisy line came, Abby snatched the microphone away from the Rose who had just said her lines but thankfully put the microphone under the other Daisy's mouth. We breathed a momentary sigh of relief abd then Abby leaned in and said the lines WITH her! Lyle and I about died laughing. I wish so much I had it on film. Once she got the microphone, there was no way she was going to be denied those lines, back-up Daisy or not. Yes, Abby definitely makes us chuckle!
And speaking of chuckles, I had a good one this morning. Recently we've been trying a new system to encourage the kids to keep their rooms clean. Instead of me getting into nagging mode, which is so easy to do, I've been posting "room violations".


First, each child had a day that was "their" day to get their room cleaned with mom. They got to choose their favorite after-school snack and then I helped them with their room. I had each child make their bed to the best of their ability and I took a picture (see photo at left). I also took pictures of cleaned desks, closed drawers, clothes in the hamper, etc. Each child had their room expectations posted on their wall with pictures to show what a clean room should look like.
In the morning, I told them I would not remind them to get their room done, but that if it wasn't done up to expectations, they would have a "room violation" posted on their door and when they came home from school they would have to finish their room and then also draw a job out of the job jar. My room violation notes are written on green Post-it notes I keep up in my bedroom. Abby has actually really liked this new system and has done very well. At times there have been some judgement calls when I could tell that some effort had been made but that it really hadn't been done well, but mostly the kids have been very aware when they deserve a room violation.

When I walked by Abby's room this morning, it was abundantly clear that she was getting a room violation. Her bed was a disaster, there were clothes and toys on her floor, and it was just screaming, VIOLATION! I pulled out my Post-It pad but before I could put a notice on her door, I saw that Abby had beat me to it. What do you think? Perhaps in light of her obvious violation, she was trying to butter me up a bit? I think so!



Abby's birthday is a week from today, and we just love our blue-eyed, fiesty beauty so much. Her uncontrolled laughter is infectious, her inventive mind entertains us all, and her zest for life adds such a special spark to our family. We love you Abby!

Expectations Vs. Reality

On May 23rd, I was about half-way through the day before I realized that it was on that day, two years ago, that we got Maya's referral. It's amazing how the time has flown.

On that day 2 years ago I made some assumptions about Maya's personality based on her adorable referral picture. She looked calm and peaceful and I imagined our future daughter as a quieting influence in our home and the child who I'd probably have to ask to speak up because her sweet little voice would be so timid and shy. For some reason phrases in her paperwork such as "active and restless" and "bangs toys against crib", didn't sway me a bit in my sure knowledge of this little girl's personality. If I'd had a crystal ball to see into the future, I think the picture above would have matched my perception of the calm, serene child we'd be adopting.




The reality is that this picture is much closer to the true Maya we've come to know and love. Although I admit I was quite fond of the image I'd had in my mind, we absolutely adore the loud, boisterous, energetic person who has joined our family and we wouldn't change her for the world. My expectation didn't match reality and I'm so glad.

I've had that same thought many times in regard to our 3 older children as well. There are things about each one of them that had I been given the option, I probably wouldn't have chosen and we'd be the poorer for it. When we were in the early stages of our adoption, a neighbor asked why we'd choose to adopt since we already had biological kids. He said, "With you own kids, at least you know what you're getting." I couldn't disagree more. Adam, Madeline, and Abby are so different from each other. Each one of them has surprised me numerous times. They've surprised me with talents I wouldn't have guessed they'd possess and challenges I wouldn't have guessed they'd need to face.


When I start thinking about expectations, I'm reminded about how many of the things I worried about in connection with little Maya have never come to pass. I expected her to be delayed. She wasn't. I expected her to have issues attaching to us. She didn't. I expected that I'd need to parent her a little bit differently than the other children. I haven't.

I'll admit there are some things I didn't expect to be big issues that are looming fairly large, but such is life. It's a leap of faith to give birth to children and it's a leap of faith to adopt. We love this "active and restless" girl just the way she is. She is her own perfectly made spirit and we're thankful we get to be a part of her life.

Adam Turns 14, etc.

I can hardly believe that Adam is FOURTEEN! How could that possibly be right? Admittedly, he's looking and sounding 14. I've mistaken him for Lyle several times when I hear him talking downstairs. I've told him he needs to shave more than once and he's now taller and bigger than his dear old mom. He's been a pretty nice teenager so far and his sisters think he's great.
Adam got a fancy nerf tag game from Abby and Maya and enjoyed a lasagna dinner.

I have to do some explaining with this picture! When Adam turned four years old, he got a "big boy" bed. To go along with the big boy bed, I made him a new quilt. I used patches of denim that I'd cut from old pairs of jeans, mixed with different plaids. We gave it to him on his birthday and he was SO upset! He yelled, "I don't want a blanket made from Dad's old pants! And I don't think blankets should have POCKETS!" He could not be swayed.

Lyle had the great idea of hiding candy in a few of the pockets. Once Adam found the candy, he decided he REALLY loved his blanket and asked if it could have MORE pockets! Well, ten years later his poor blanket was looking very well-used and worn. So, I created another jeans quilt for his 14th birthday and Lyle put some candy (and Home Depot gift cards) in the pockets. Here Adam is crawling around on the blanket, sniffing for candy!

Adam's been on the junior high track team and runs the 800 and mile. He's done great and we've been so proud of him. But his first meet, unfortunately, didn't go as he would have liked. He had just finished the first lap of the 800 and was going right by the bleachers when he was tripped by the runner behind him. Adam got a pretty severe case of road rash on his face and side and shoulder. He'd been in third place so it was pretty disappointing. In his handsome track photo you can still see where he's healing up on his face. At the next race he got third in the 800 (they only do one heat so there are usually about 20 people in each of his races) and got 6th in the mile. At the next race he got 5th in the 800 but improved his time to 2:38. His time in the mile also improved and he got 5:58. Go Adam!

Obviously it's been awhile since I posted anything and I'm kind of jumping around a bit! A couple of weekends ago Abby went to a birthday party at our local Skateland. Lyle was working and Adam was at a Boy Scout gun camp of some sort, so I took all three girls. I even rented skates so that I could skate with Maya. Maya thought the skates were wonderful for about 10 minutes and then she abruptly decided she was done. I was surprised because she was really good at it! I think the loud music was a bit much for her. Or maybe it was that she saw someone putting birthday cake on the table.


The other day I was making dinner and I heard talking and giggling outside. I peeked out the window and saw Adam and Madeline lying on the hammock on the back porch, just relaxing and talking about their day. I snuck around the house to get their picture. It's not a great photograph, but I love the moment.

May 16th- Maya feeding the koi at one of her favorite places, Clear Creek Nursery. Not long after this photo was taken, she wandered off and caused quite a panic. All of the workers were on their walkie talkies trying to locate "the 2 year-old in the orange shirt". Finally she was found heading up the hill to a waterfall. When I reminded her that she's not supposed to leave Mom, she sighed and said, "yeah, I just forgot."

May 17th- I spent my birthday attending parades! Madeline was in the Armed Forces Parade in Bremerton this morning and then in the Viking Fest Parade this afternoon in Poulsbo. it was 84 degrees which is an all-out scorcher for Western Washington and we all were feeling pretty wilted!
Maya and Abby were good parade attendees, but Maya was definitely maxed out with one parade (who wouldn't be?). I dropped her off with Adam (Lyle was at work) before we went for parade #2.

Beautiful Madeline on the float before the Viking Fest Parade. She was with the 6 other children from the Sound of Music Choir. She plays Louisa and she had her "My Favorite Things" solo right when they were going by us. It's kind of funny that Madeline's singing voice sounds different to me when we're away from home. I think I'm just so accustomed to hearing her singing around the house, that I hardly even notice it. Today she sounded so beautiful and I heard numerous people comment on her lovely voice. We were very proud of her.

Fashion Statement

I struggle with fashion. I really do. I would venture to guess that this does not come as a shock to anyone who knows me. While most of the time I don't think I embarrass my children too much, I will admit that I don't have a knack for shoes, clothing, purses, jewelry, and hairstyles. I don't change purses to match outfits (I actually only own 1 purse and when it's broken or hopelessly out of style I'll replace it) and I have enough fingers to count every item in my jewelry lineup. I don't have a single bottle of nail polish, perfume makes me sneeze, and I don't love the mall. Obviously I'm missing some womanly gene. So, you might imagine my surprise when I recently was informed via the newspaper that Lyle and I have jumped onto the bandwagon of the hottest new trend.

A columnist in Pittsburgh says:
Call me cynical, but since when did Asian children become "must have" fashion accessories for upper middle-class Americans? Along with Calloway golf clubs and season tickets to football games, paying $30,000 to $40,000 to adopt an exotic baby is suddenly viewed as the most chic purchase this side of a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps.

Seriously, this is what someone is putting in print. For the record, I've never heard of Manolo Blahnik pumps and wouldn't know a Blahnik if it kicked me in the shin. The cost of adoption that he's quoting is inaccurate and I can't help but bristle significantly when one of my children is referred to as a "chic purchase". I don't doubt that somewhere along the line someone has adopted for the wrong reasons. I would venture to guess though that the number of people who have conceived children for the wrong reasons greatly outnumbers those who are willing to go through numerous homestudies, reams of paperwork, background checks, and months or years of waiting to adopt a child only to love them as a trendy accessory.

The author ends his article by saying:
If people really wanted to adopt children because of a desire to become parents, they'd just adopt babies, not fashion statements.

Really, words escape me. And the irony of the whole thing is that Maya would object to my denial of her fashion statement status, because as the photo proves, she clearly IS a fashion statement. I guess what we're saying is up for debate.

Out of the Closet

Our closet gymnast has gone public! Today was Maya's first "Mom and Me" gymnastics class and she had a ball. Obviously the 3 different bars of varying heights were a big hit with our little monkey girl. One mom was amazed that this was Maya's first class. She said, "Wow! This is the first time she's tried this?" I told her no, Maya gets lots of practice in our closet.
I'm sure it was great for her to be free of hangers, clothes hampers, etc.



Not only were there bars, there was a balance beam....



a springboard.....



a new friend, also adopted from China....

and HAND STAMPS!

Maya's joy is full

Trail-a-bike!

Look at that face! Someone is VERY excited about her first ride on the trail-a-bike! I was a little worried that she was too little to hang on, but Lyle reminded me that anyone who can hang from her arms for long periods of time in our closet is certainly strong enough to hold onto bike handles.




Today was an absolutely gorgeous spring day. Maya pointed to the sky and said, "Wow, Mom! Look at the blue!"

And off they go! They rode the whole 2 and half miles around our bumpy dirt road. I think the trail-a-bike will be seeing quite alot of use this spring and summer.

Spring Break

Horray for Spring Break! We all have very much been looking forward to it! It has been a trying week, with a very difficult, although inspiring funeral on Thursday. Madeline had been asked to sing her friend's favorite Primary song, "Give Said the Little Stream". Madeline accepted, but the night before the funeral she came into our room just sobbing and we wondered if she'd be able to do it. She'd never been to a funeral and she said her first funeral would have been alot easier if it was for an elderly great uncle, twice removed! Madeline was really holding back the tears during the service and was doing these little hiccups. Again, I worried that there would be no way she could sing. When the time came though, she walked up to the stand looking very composed and got through the whole song. She said she just tried not to look at anyone because she could hear crying and knew if she looked at a crying person, she'd start sobbing herself.

Once again, I have to say that our friends are simply an amazing family and their strength and faith through all of this has been an inspiration to so many. I was over at Children's Hospital just a couple of days after this sweet girl had passed away and was asked by my friend to give the nurses a picture of their daughter and also let them know the date and time of the funeral. I was so impressed (but not surprised) at the effect this family had had on the staff there at the hospital. They truly loved them and were mourning with them. Two of the nurses made the long drive from Seattle to be here at the funeral. One of the nurses said, "The babies we've lost needed a babysitter."

Early Friday morning Lyle took Adam and Madeline to D.C. where he and his sister, Laurel planned to run the D.C. marathon. Poor Lyle missed his connecting flight and didn't get into DC until 11 PM, with an early-morning start time for the marathon the next day. I was thrilled to get the phone call from Madeline the next morning that Lyle had just crossed the finish line with a time of 3:25! He was hoping to be under 3 and a half hours and I'm thrilled for him that he met his goal. Laurel also did spectacularly well, finishing her very first marathon in 3:58! They are amazing!


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Abby has been keeping us on a very busy schedule. She expects fun vacation-time activites pretty much around the clock! Here the girls are making a serious mess during craft time! Easter crafts were 75% off at the store, so Abby picked out the deluxe Easter cottage kit!

Maya loves anything that involves glue. She made some very gluey, sparkly Easter eggs.

Abby has been planning a trip to the zoo for a very long time. Obviously the girls were excited as we set off. Unfortunately, just before the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, it started to hail. It was getting close to lunchtime, so we stopped in at Panera Bread to get a bite to eat.

The girls ordered hot chocolates and were VERY pleased when these massive cups were brought to the table.

That should take the chill out of your bones, Abby!

Maya's cup is a big as her head!

Finally we made it to the zoo. Thankfully the weather did improve and we had a sunny day. The tiger was very active and went right up to the glass to get a look at Abby. We heard him roar several times. Even though glass was separating us from him, it gave us chills!

"Wait up, peacock! We just want to say hi!"
The peacock was smart to high-tail it (or low-tail it evidently) away from these two!

We Have Each Other

I love that Abby can read now and that Maya is starting to let other people read her bedtime stories! Abby is such a good big sister. I'm so glad that these two have each other.

Speaking of us "having each other", Maya's been very adamant lately about who is in HER family. I think it all started after an incident at Kinkos a couple of weeks ago. I was making some copies and Maya was chatting with a little girl who looked to be about 4 years old. The girl asked Maya where her mommy was. Maya pointed to me and said, "Mommy right dare." The girl got a very serious look on her face and shook her head and said, "No. That's not your mommy. I can tell that's not your mommy." This little girl's dad looked very embarrased and reminded his daughter that her hair is blond and her mom's hair is brown. The little girl was very determined to get her point across. "No. I still look like Mommy. That is NOT that little girl's mommy!" I really felt for the dad who looked like he wanted to clamp his hand over his talkative daughter's mouth!

A couple of times during the last few days Maya has pointed to me and with great conviction told complete strangers, "That MY mommy. MY mommy." I have to say, it warms my heart.

Easter 2008

Our Easter Sunday started in typical northwest fashion with gray skies and cold, rainy weather. Also in typical northwest fashion, the clouds have now cleared away and we've had a sunny afternoon. I thought the kids looked so cute (don't tell Adam I used that word) this morning. I was proud that both Madeline and Adam joined Lyle in the church choir today, a first for Adam. Although Abby was physically present on the stand during the primary musical number, I did not see her lips move even once. Abby, on the other hand, told me that she DID sing, she was just trying to see how little she could move her mouth and still make noise.



We colored eggs last night and the little girls made a horrible mess.....

....and enjoyed every minute of it!

Madeline always shows a great deal of patience with her eggs and gets the deepest colors.

Adam is confident enough in his manliness to use pink.

The kids went downstairs at about 8:00 this morning and were very pleased with their Easter baskets. Adam got a new basketball that's touted as the ball that never needs inflating. The first thing I heard him say when he bounced it was, "hmmm, it's seems a little flat." Madeline got the game "Blokus", Abby got a set of little fairies, and Maya was thrilled with her very own backpack! She may sleep in it tonight. Here she's enjoying Lyle's delicious German pancakes while wearing the beloved backpack.



Each of the girls got an Easter dress and they all looked so pretty. Maya does not seem capable of a normal smile when the camera comes out. In this photo she was laughing because it was about my 20th attempt to get one decent picture. That little stinker!

I'm the primary nursery leader in my ward and so I get lots of Qiu time on Sundays! She loves nursery and is always very happy to arrive and eat her snack. Notice once again the backpack. And the picture face.

I was able to sneak a shot of her listening to the lesson. She really pays attention and participates. She loves learning. Oh, a kind of funny story from today. During the sacrament, a little boy a few rows back was very loudly reciting the alphabet. He was going strong through "G" when his mother quieted him. Maya didn't even miss a beat and when he stopped she yelled out, "H, I, J...."


Back home I tried one last time to get a normal smile out of her. This was the result. I give up.
Happy Easter to all. I've really felt the spirit of the day today and the joy of the resurrection.

*Just a couple of hours after I finished this post, we got a phone call that dear friends of ours from church had just lost their precious 13 year-old daughter. She had been in the hospital in Seattle for the past month fighting MRSA pneumonia. She was an amazingly talented young lady--state champion gymnast, dancer, honor student, and just a wonderful person. Our hearts are aching for this sweet family tonight