Scravings

It will not be a happy day for Cholita

2012-01-27T10:00:00.000-08:00

Bad puppy

Bad, bad puppy.

Holy Night: Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-24T22:18:00.000-08:00

It was a wonderful Christmas Eve, XiXi's first.

The evening started with our traditional big Subway sandwich

And the baking of Christmas cookies for Santa.

Then there came a decree from Cesar Augustus.

And angels made glad tidings to shepherds (and their sheep).

All came to worship the babe in Bethlehem.

Then the girls opened their Christmas Eve jammies....

...followed by the boys.

And it wouldn't be Christmas Eve without the traditional jammie pyramid....

with one extra this year...

...a fairly heavy extra....

.....who we're so thankful is HOME for Christmas!

Merry Christmas From our House to Yours

2011-12-24T14:24:00.000-08:00

This is what I'm working with: Rose's Christmas List

2011-12-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Copied word for word

An interesting peek into the unique mind of our entertaining Rose

1. Kits (Hint: I love to smear, powderize, pour, ooze, creamerize, etc. with watery stuff.)
2. Make-up Kit (I can't have my OWN make-up, so I use face molds.)
3. A Chemistry Set (This, I hope, will cover the whole smear, pour......I won't continue.)
4. Art of Calligraphy (I've ALWAYS wanted to use ink and quill!)
5. A Nancy Drew Mystery Computer Game (The one I played was SOO fun!)
6. A Notebook (Going back to my old ways)
7. Barnes and Noble Giftcard (Keep the price low, or I'll never emerge from my books. Hee Hee)
8. I-Pod (Lucy, do NOT say I won't get one!)
9. Geography Set (Please, I would prefer countries, because I know all my states.)
10. A marker set (to add to my collection)
11. Books (You can never say no to them.)
12. A doll (Cholita, stay back! You have Rosalie!)
13. Nail polish (Lucy can tell you the colors I like, she knows.)
14. Nice chapstick (You know how my lips get)
15. Bruder's I-Pod (free present, right?)
16. Architeque (sorry, I'm bad at spelling!) set (see me for details)
17. A car (just kidding!)
18. A boxed book series (One I haven't read, please)
19. Mini American Girl Doll (The big ones are too expensive)
20. A happy family.

Dear Mom, Dad, Bruder, Lucy, Cholita, and XiXi,

I know this year people are short on money. This list was only to give you a wide range of choices. You know what I like, so don't worry about getting "pacific" (ha ha). I've never been disappointed. You guys are very creative. If we don't have as much money, we can still have a good, happy Christmas. I just wanted to give you an idea or two (or twenty) so you can feel a bit of direction with your shopping. But really, I don't care. You can get me a moldy sock (note the sarcasm. Bruder, this means you.) Just don't tell me what you got me (Cholita, this means you), or say I'll never get it (Lucy), or open another person's gifts (XiXi).

Merry Christmas, Rose

Editor's Note: We are not destitute. I think possibly we went overboard on the "let's not spend too much on Christmas this year" bit.

And then there were two

2011-12-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Howell has joined the laying club! Cholita is a proud Mama.

The Chicken Casa

2011-12-02T17:00:00.001-08:00

I realize that I left you hanging with Lyle's work on Chickenville. Thankfully the hens are not still residing in the front room, or even in the garage.

Back in the Spring, when the goats came home, Lyle was in the beginning stages of enclosing the overhang that had sheltered the horses, and was turning it into separate goat and chicken quarters.

He finished a few months ago, reusing some old windows. He added the mullions to match the windows on the front of the barn. The goats have their own little home on the right, which Lyle is bravely cleaning in the photo. The left side and the whole upper portion is all for the chickens. (Can you spot Franklin, checking things out?)

To keep the chickens safe from the many critters who frequent our property, Lyle built a run, burying chicken wire several feet into the ground.

The chickens can come and go as they please. Even on rainy days, they prefer to stay outside, huddled under the hen house.

Lyle and my dad devised this watering system with tubing and PVC.

I wish I had a better photo of it, but the blue that you see on the left is an adorable bird house that Lyle made which sits over a large water bucket. From the bucket, you can see the tube which goes down to the chicken run.

Inside, there are 4 nesting boxes which you can access from the outside hatch or by walking into the coop through one of two doors.

We have three chicken breeds in our flock. There are two Australorps--Ginger and Gabby. In the light, their black feathers take on a pretty emerald tinge.

Our three Silverlaced Wyandottes, posing here for a group photo, look like they're wearing fancy ball gowns. They are Annie, Mr. Beefy, and Chicken (XiXi's English wasn't so great 5 months ago when we asked him what he wanted to name his chicken. "Ummm," he said, "Chicken!")

And last but not least are our two Buff Orpingtons--Clarkson (our only layer) and Cholita's hen Mrs. Howell.

True, they can be a bit stinky, but being that these are our only pets willing to provide us with breakfast, I think they're keepers.

It won't be long before we have 49 eggs a week.

Omelette anyone?

quiche?

over-easy or scrambled?

cholesterol-lowering medication?

Anyone?

He...oh wait, I mean SHE....did it!!

2011-11-30T15:54:00.001-08:00

Laid an egg, that is!!!

A "he" is incapable of that feat, correct?
So the debate has ended.

Clarkson the chicken,

Clarkson the suspected rooster,

is indeed a hen.

We'd kind of wondered, you see, since Clarkson's comb was bigger than the other chickens and because he (I mean she) walked with a bit of a manly swagger. In our inexperience, this chicken looked rather rooster-ish.

Our chicks were supposed to reach egg-laying age at the end of October, but every day when we eagerly checked the nesting boxes, we came back empty-handed. Apparently if chickens reach maturity during the dark winter months, sometimes they won't lay eggs until the Spring. Dang it. I wanted a Halloween egg but would have to wait until Easter.

Lyle built this handy-dandy egg collection door into the side of the hen house. It opens right into the nesting boxes, the nesting boxes which the chickens showed no interest in. So, I basically stopped checking. Then, two days after Thanksgiving, I was out with the dog when I heard a mighty ruckus coming from the hen house. I figured that Clarkson the rooster was finding his voice.

I opened the side door to the nesting boxes and there sat Clarkson, squawking to beat the band! It felt like I'd walked in on someone using the bathroom, and quickly apologized and closed the door. I ran up to the house to tell the kids an egg was on the way. Much to our surprise, there wasn't just one egg, but THREE! Clarkson had laid the first egg on Thanksgiving! In all of the excitement, with kids carrying the eggs, only one of the three made it into the refrigerator intact.

No matter. Clarkson is now consistent as Old Faithful, delivering one egg a day.

We all find it pretty amazing.

Miraculous, really....

........especially coming from a rooster.

Way to go Clarkson.

He Dreamed a Dream

2011-11-23T08:59:00.001-08:00

No, Lyle is not Lehi, or Pharaoh, or (thank goodness) even Fantine from Les Miserables. He did, however, dream a dream.

He woke up with a start at about 3:00 in the morning. In the dream that roused him, he saw that our basement was flooding, our sump pump was broken, and water was lapping up near our raised, newly purchased, oh-so-pricey heater. He was so troubled by the clarity of the dream that he knew he'd never get back to sleep if he didn't go investigate.

Our "basement" is really a glorified crawl space about 7 feet tall that you can access only by removing a heavy hatch which is set into the floorboards of our back porch. In his robe, braving the cold, wet morning, he took off the hatch, shined his flashlight down the stairs, and saw the exact image of his dream......a completely flooded crawl space, a broken sump pump, and water rising dangerously close to our heating system. It was a long, wet morning, but all is well and we are deeply grateful.

All of the children were impressed by Lyle's dream, but it was Cholita who shared the experience with her class, saying that she was thankful for Heavenly Father's help in saving our heater. She also now looks at her father with a sense of awe and feels comforted that he will be warned in the event of family danger. "Mom," she said very seriously while we were driving in the car, "If Dad ever dreams that a tiger is in our house, eating the kids, make sure he wakes up!"

Will do. But if he has a Lehi moment and dreams that our family should leave our house, travel in the wilderness and live in a tent?

I'll tell him to go back to sleep.

If Franklin Could Talk

2011-11-19T18:28:00.001-08:00

Do you want me to sit? I'll do it!

Do you want me to lie down? No problem!

Do you want me to stay? Got it!

Just tell me I'm a good dog. Please, oh please, oh please tell me I'm a good dog.

Because I love you!

You're beautiful! Have I told you lately? I only have eyes for you.

Well, you and everyone else who wants to pet me. Or feed me!

Your wish is my command.

Please, oh please, oh please let me do something for you. Anything!

And then scratch my belly.

Because I love you!

In case you can't tell, he's a pleaser.

At nearly 15 weeks, he knows sit, down, stay, leave it, and go potty.

He knows that he needs to sit and wait when we walk through doors.

He knows to sit quietly while we put on his leash or give him his food.

He knows not to jump up on people......mostly.

Little people are still too great a temptation.

At 15 weeks he does not know:

that everything in our home is not a chew toy and

that all manner of animal manure is not food.

Not bad for 15 weeks.

But seriously?

The ick factor of the manure eating nearly cancels out all of his great qualities.

Nearly.

We know he's a keeper.

Frankly Speaking: Life with a 12 week old puppy

2011-11-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

As I type, Franklin is sitting on the floor next to me. It's not the calm bonding moment that you might imagine, however. The leash he's wearing is pinned to the floor by my foot because if given free reign, I can't even image the scope of destruction. The word "catastrophic" comes to mind.

These past three weeks with Franklin have reminded me of the personal oath I'd made after raising each of our canine babies, an oath that obviously I'd forgotten. "I will never get another puppy." I picture Scarlett O'Hara with the sun setting behind her, a fist raised to the sky. It's that type of oath. And yet, here I am, yet again, raising a puppy.

Those people who raise guide dog puppies, only to send them off to formal training school once they've gotten through all the hard stuff? There's a special place reserved for them in heaven, I'm sure.

And speaking of Heaven, it was the loss of Charlie's dear doggie brother, Olaf, that prompted the addition of Franklin. Charlie just wasn't himself and he looked lonely and we just knew that he'd love a little puppy brother. We were wrong. Very wrong. At his advanced age, he's like the grumpy 80 year-old man who yells at the neighbor kids to get off his lawn. Right now, Charlie wants Franklin off his lawn.

I read somewhere that by 12 weeks a puppy should meet at least 100 people. Since I'm a bit of a homebody, I've had to make a conscious effort to take Franklin somewhere every single day. In our quest to find people of all ages and sizes, we've explored parks, visited schools, window shopped downtown, and blasted through many a scene of Autumn peace and tranquility. And as tiring as it's been, I honestly can't remember a Fall that I've appreciated so fully. Nothing says joy quite like a fat puppy rolling and romping through leaves. I have no doubt that lurking within this bundle of fur are the makings of a great dog.

I just...

need the energy....

to get him there.

A Birthday, An Explanation, and An Introduction

2011-10-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

A Birthday

My oldest girl turned 15 this week! What a gift our sweet Lucy has been to our family. Even as a baby, she had this calm maturity about her. When we moved from Iowa to Washington, eighteen-month-old Lucy carried her backpack through the airport, leading the way, making sure we were always right behind her, checking to see that I had our tickets, and just keeping us on track for the big move. She's always been like that.....organized, responsible, and dependable. And now she's 15 and eligible to start driver's ed. Surprisingly, she's not itching to get behind the wheel, unlike her older brother, but we can wait...for a while. Driving Lucy to her many activities takes a large part of my day and on her 16th birthday I want her in line at the DMV.

An Explanation

It's been a long, long time since I've had a month-long lapse in blogging. It's been busy around here, as usual, but it's gotten busier. First, we've joined the YMCA and I've been trying to exercise every morning, and second.........

An Introduction

This guy. Our 11 week-old golden retriever bundle of energy. It's been nearly 7 years since we've had a puppy at home and holy cow. Puppies are EXHAUSTING. Even sweet, mellow, obedient puppies like this little guy are a whole ton of work. His name, as I've mentioned, had to come from the Peanuts comic strip. This left us with names like Snoopy, Woodstock, Linus, Rerun, etc. None of those seemed right. We all agreed that with his blond hair he kind of looked like Schroeder...

...but Schroeder didn't exactly roll off the tongue for me and you have to say a dog's name about a hundred times a day. Finally, one seemed right.

Do you remember the name of this character? Think about it while I indulge in puppy pictures.....

.......Because he gets bigger every day.

And won't always have the same puppy energy. (Dang it and thank goodness.)

And he'll loose the puppy fluff. Don't you want to touch him?

And his first "sit" will always be special.

And puppy tummies are adorable while adult male dogs in this pose are a little obscene.

And Rose won't be able to carry him forever.

We're thankful to welcome.....

Franklin

to the family.

He's admirably following in some mighty big paw prints.

Half a Year Ago Today

2011-09-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

We met one sad, scared little man.

This passport photo was taken maybe thirty minutes after that traumatic first meeting. I sat him on the stool in front of the white curtain, my arm on his back to make sure he didn't fall. "Smile!" I said in a cheery sing-song voice. Although an appropriate thing to say at a photo session, it was quite ridiculous under the circumstances, spoken to a child who didn't understand English and had just left everything he'd ever known. "Smile!" The poor boy.

What an amazing 6 months we've had together and what a truly amazing child. Not only has he adjusted, he's thrived. His teachers at church and at school give us nothing but glowing comments; they all adore him. His English is incredible. He certainly doesn't have the depth of vocabulary that some 4 year-olds have, but he's not very far off. Not far off at all. He speaks in full sentences--sentences filled with adjectives and adverbs, pronouns and possessives. He still has a touch of an accent, but it's quickly fading and we'll miss it when it's gone.

He is sweet and helpful, smart and funny. Oh my, is he funny. He makes us laugh every single day. What a blessing to have that contagious smile in our home. He lights up a room with his whole-face grin. It's humbling to think how easy it would have been to miss out on XiXi, to have let that gift pass us by without ever knowing what we'd missed. Over a year ago, when we saw his photo on a website, we were in no way ready for an adoption. At least that's what we thought. Heavenly Father obviously knew better.

Happy six months together, precious XiXi! SMILE!

Do Dogs Shed in Heaven?

2011-09-21T00:07:00.000-07:00

If they don't, our Olaf has now officially achieved perfection.

It's just his family that's a mess....an absolute mess.

Olaf was, without a doubt, the world's cutest puppy.

I carried him home from the breeder's on my lap, a warm, wiggly, bear cub of a dog.

Would you check out the size of that paw? Even as a baby, it was clear he would soon be shopping at the big and tall store.

His doggie brother Charlie, our labrador retriever, five years his senior, was named after Charlie Brown. We wanted to stay in keeping with the Peanuts theme, but this dog was certainly no Snoopy. Or Pigpen. Or Linus. Bruder piped up that Snoopy had a fat brother in a fur hat and that his name was Olaf. Lightbulbs dinged over the heads of all family members and it was decided instantly. He was Olaf.

When he was still a baby, we took a trip to the Oregon coast, but since we couldn't imagine leaving him in a kennel, we rented an RV and he came along for the ride.

He's always been so gentle that even toddler Rose could hold his leash.

We learned on that trip that Olaf detested water, wouldn't even step paw in it, but would happily run along the beach. Basically anything with his people, he was game.

He grew at an alarming rate. By 10 months he was pushing 100 pounds.

Here he is during his gangly teenage stage in the Olympic Mountains with the kids. I've always loved mountain photos of Olaf. Being a Bernese Mountain Dog, it just seemed fitting. If we could put the kids in lederhosen and get them yodeling, the scene would be perfect.

I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Holy cow! What a cool dog!" Or, "Is that some type of Saint Bernard?" Or my favorite, "Oh, I know what he is! He's one of those Burmese Mountain Dogs, right?" I always commended the proud individual on their canine knowledge, but inwardly laughed at the image of Olaf in his thick black coat, lounging on the tropical shores of Burma.

For almost seven years, Olaf has been such a huge part of our home and family.

Whether it's been welcoming trick or treaters on Halloween,

laughing with the kids on crazy dress day,

or sending off his boy on his first drive in his new car.

He's been there for landscaping and dirt moving projects,

bike rides and lawn games,

kid's birthday parties,

and of course, the Christmas Eve pyramid. Oh, how he hated the Christmas Eve pyramid. If he could wring his hands, assuming he had hands, this annual event would make him do it. He was a bit of a worrier at heart. More than once, he tried to hide behind me when some toy breed barked at him. He also worried about our laminate floor. Not the whole floor, just one particular section. He'd stand there, hemming and hawing over what he should do, then he'd always turn around and throw it into reverse to slowly back into the carpeted family room. Lyle added the BEEP, BEEP, BEEP sound of a truck in reverse. People thought it was some trick we taught him, but no, it was just his own little brand of weirdness shining through.

Olaf was always gentle and kindhearted. Never once in his life did he show the slightest hint of aggression. Our lab will growl, as most dogs would, if say, a raccoon saunters onto our porch, but never Olaf. Not a single growl ever escaped his lips.

He went on countless walks around our two mile loop.....not just with our family, with anyone. He was positive that everyone adored him, and as far as I can tell, he was right. He was beloved by the whole neighborhood and many walkers would get to our property and cup their hands around their mouths and yell, "OLAF!" and he'd join them for a jaunt. When our neighbors heard he was sick, one brought him a cheeseburger, another a bone. They shared Olaf stories and fought back tears.

Olaf loved the recent arrival of our goats. In this photo, he was staring with rapt attention, along with the kids, as the goats were let into the pasture.

He chased them with tail wagging glee and then sat outside their fence and stared at them. He found them endlessly entertaining.

When visitors came to our home, Olaf gave them a little sniff, then promptly turned around, sat on their feet, and threw his head back at them in a big Berner grin. I believe he had a 100% success rate in getting a pat.

He went on many scout campouts and was the ultimate tent warmer. On a cold night, everyone wanted to sleep with Olaf. He accompanied the boys on numerous hikes,

almost all successful.

There was one notable exception when he laid down mid-trail and refused to take another step.

I've had hikes like that myself.

But when I picture Olaf, I won't see him on a trail or in the mountains or at the beach. When I think of him, I'll always see him on the hill above our house.

Without fail, when our car turned the final dusty, bumpy corner for home, he was there, waiting for us.

Tonight, with the help of our neighbors, we buried our gentle giant on his hill. Everyone agreed that that's where he should be.

As much as our hearts are breaking right now, I would bring home that furry bear cub bundle again in a heartbeat. I can see our children, years from now, with their children, sitting snuggled on their laps, and they're telling them,

"When I was a kid, we had the coolest dog....." And then they'll smile.

"His name was Olaf."

Three Miles

2011-09-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

In under seventeen minutes!

That's fast.

Like really fast.

Today he took two whole minutes off his time from last year.

We're so proud of this kid.

Kindergarten Confusion

2011-09-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

Cholita loves kindergarten. She lays out her uniform every night before going to bed, she writes little notes to her teacher, and she impatiently waits for that wonderful day when she'll get her first piece of homework. Another perk of school is that she's made several friends who she's pretty sure are her soul mates. The friend I heard about the most was a little girl who for the purposes of this blog we'll call Jordan. She gushed on a daily basis how Jordan was not only nice, but funny, great on the monkey bars, and had beautiful long blonde hair.

One day Cholita came out of class with a skip in her step and an envelope in her hand. Jordan was having a party. Could life get any better? At home, I read the invitation: Jordan is turning 6! Come help celebrate his birthday on......" I didn't even read the rest.

"Um, Cholita....." I wasn't quite sure how to say this. "Um, are you sure that Jordan is a girl?"

Cholita laughed. "Yes. She's a girl." Then she nervously added, "That's a weird thing to ask."

"Well, the invitation has the word "his" on it, which means boy."

She shrugged. "I guess her mom messed up when she was typing." She bit her fingernail, a habit she recently broke.

"Moms don't generally mess that up." I tried to say it as gently as I could. "Cholita, I'm pretty sure Jordan's a boy."

Angry tears welled up in her eyes. "Mom, SHE'S A GIRL!"

We talked about why she was so sure she was girl and it all came down to the long hair, which she said she always wore in a pony tail. I pointed out that sometimes boys wear ponytails, but she wouldn't hear of it. Then suddenly she gasped.

"Oh no! Mom, I just thought of something! She has....." she gulped like the words were too hard to spit out. "She has.......a baseball backpack!" That was the ultimate piece of evidence and she sobbed long and loud.

It's been a week now since her social world was rocked by this news, but only about 2 days since she's been able to use the masculine pronoun when referring to her friend. I am happy to say though, that they are still friends. Cholita has always had lots of friends who are boys and enjoys playing with boys, but I wasn't sure how a mental switcheroo would affect the relationship.

I finally got to see Jordan the other day when he was getting on the bus. The school dress code makes the clothing pretty gender neutral, so that's not a clear giveaway; unless of course, you're opting for the skirt or jumper. But the tan pants and a navy blue polo he was wearing could totally go either way.

Looking at her dear friend, even as an adult, the hairstyle would have completely thrown me off. It's not that it's just a ponytail. It's a double pony tail, with half of the hair pulled up on the top of his head, and the rest all gathered into a bouncy ponytail in the back. No wonder Cholita was confused.

After the initial shock, I'm proud that she's taken it in stride. "Well," she said, "I was going to get her......I mean him......a doll, but he said that he wants Star Wars legos." Then she laughed. "Yep, that means he's definitely a boy!"

P.S. No new news on the Olaf front. It's been hard. Like really hard. Like one of the top 10 hardest things I've dealt with in my mercifully easy life. It's not hard because he looks like he's in pain. As awful as that would be, it would make the decision easy. Or at least easier. It's hard because he's wagging his tail and giving us happy smiles and reveling in the most attention he's had in years, all while looking like a chemo patient. I hate this.

P.P.S. He's from a litter of 6 males and I know the status of 5 of those dogs. Literally within weeks of each other, THREE have been diagnosed with cancer, one put down only the day before we had Olaf at the vet. The mom dog died recently of old age at 11 long Berner years old. The dad died of cancer at 7. Unfortunately, the boys evidently take after Papa.

Keeping Him Happy

2011-09-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

That's the name of the game right now. With lots of kid love and an eat-whatever-the-heck-you-want diet, Olaf has gained some weight and given us lots of tail thumping, happy Berner grins.

I took photos of Olaf with the kids yesterday. It's hard to see him so skinny, but the spark is back in his eyes.

These past six years Olaf's watched our oldest

grow from boy to man.

He's seen two little girls

become beautiful young ladies.

And he's welcomed two dear children home from China.

We couldn't ask for any more of him.

The "keeping him happy" plan has been stepped up since we received the hard news today that Olaf does in fact have cancer. The specialists who reviewed his radiographs found a mass in his retroperitoneal cavity, with the liver and spleen "looking suspicious". They think it's either histiocystosis or lymphoma, both with the same prognosis. Right now he's comfortable and happy. We'll keep him that way as long as we can, but hopefully not a moment too long. That's the least we can do for a member of the family.

A Shadow of Our Former Dog

2011-09-11T00:24:00.000-07:00

This has been a hard, hard day. We spent a good portion of it at the vet's office. And another good portion fighting back tears, sometimes successfully, oftentimes not so successfully. Our poor giant of a dog is wasting away and we're not sure what's ailing him. In his prime, Olaf was probably close to 120 pounds. When we put him on the scale today at the vet's office, we were shocked to see that he's now 76. Under that huge fur coat he's just a skeleton. He's lethargic. He hardly eats anything. He drools, which he's never done before. He doesn't even manage a tail thump when you pat his head.

Taking him to the doctor today, we highly doubted that he'd be coming back. We told the kids this, because we didn't want them to feel blind sighted , and they reacted about how we expected they would. It was a hard day. I was so thankful Lyle was with me. He actually had to carry Olaf into the exam room. The nurse took a look at him and said that she'd take him into the back room and have the doctor examine him there. That can't be good.

When the doctor came to talk to us, he said, "I don't know what he has, but I know he's very, very sick." His temperature was 105 and his heartbeat, which he said should be about 80, was 200. His gums were not their normal pink color, but a sickly gray. They started him on IV fluids and began blood work. We returned 2 hours later and learned that the blood work, surprisingly, looked normal. They took radiographs and there were no obvious masses. Cancer is rampant in the ranks of berners, so we thought for sure that's what they'd find. He's not even quite 7 years old, hardly geriatric, but with the bane of cancer, Bernese Mountain dogs have an average life expectancy of only 8 years.

With the IV fluids, Olaf's gums have pinked back up and his heart rate is down, but the doctor still suggested we transfer him to an emergency center to spend the night. We elected instead to bring him home. As long as he's reasonably comfortable, he's happier here and the kids wanted so badly to see him on our porch once again. We need to check in with the vet tomorrow and we have an appointment scheduled for Monday. The best case scenario is that he has some raging infection and that the meds he's on now will knock it out. That's what we're hoping for and we owe it to him to try that route. But if that's not what it is, we also owe it to him to stop his suffering. With all that he's given to us over the years, that's the least we can give him in return. Please, oh please let it be an infection.

What we wouldn't give to see him looking like this again.

Yet Another Gift Via E-Mail

2011-09-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

Be still my heart. This is the youngest photo I've ever seen of our sweet little man. He was born in July (most likely), found in a park in September, and when this picture was taken, had been a resident of the orphanage for a little over a month. Apparently a copy of this photo was hanging on his crib and one of the nannies remembers that he grabbed it, tore it up, and ate it. Considering the pink outfit and bunny hat, do you blame him for wanting it destroyed? Little did he know there was another copy! And thank goodness. I will always cherish this darling photo.

The only other photo that I have of him as an infant was taken a couple of months later. In that time, his hemangioma had already gotten smaller. I think his birth mother saw it at its worst. She may have thought that the growth was something more sinister or may have worried that he'd be disfigured for life. I wish she could see her handsome boy today. Doctors and dentists have looked in his mouth, shining lights and probing his cheek and can see absolutely no evidence of the hemangioma. There's not even a scar from the surgery. He's as perfect as he could possibly be.

Someday I want to return to that park in Kunming and put up a poster, showing photos of baby XiXi and handsome young man XiXi. It would bring me such joy to think that maybe his mother would see it and that she'd know that her son is happy, healthy, handsome, and loved beyond measure. She carried him in the womb for nine months, her arms for two months, and I imagine she still carries him in her heart.

Back to School!

2011-09-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

Our big kids, the senior and freshman in high school, were out the door before dawn and before the camera made it off the closet shelf. But the littles got to experience the full embarrassment of their mother snapping pictures and waving as they tried to nonchalantly get on the bus.

This year we have a lovely fifth grader, in her last year of elementary school,

an adorable kindergartener,

and a very eager, very peppy preschooler.

Pretty darn sweet, if I do say so myself.

This one was so very excited to take a bus.

While this one so feels like there should be a preschool bus.

Welcome to the new school year!

Garden Stamp of Approval

2011-09-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

My mother-in-law once told me that she always had a spot in her garden that was "experimental", where she'd test out new plants and see what made the cut. I told her that our whole entire yard is experimental. As a total beginner, we have 5 acres full of trial and error.

You really need to watch plants for a few years to see if they are all you'd hoped they'd be. Some I've been in love with for a season but then have been annoyed with the rest of the year. Some I've even loved for many seasons but then come to detest because I learn that they desire world domination.....or at least domination of an entire flower bed.

Here are a few things that have stood the test of time and have been given the stamp of approval in our garden:

Kinnickinnick: It's not only fun to say, it's really a great easy-care plant. I planted our first kinnickinnick about 4 years ago and it's slowly but surely proven its worth. It has year-round interest, is drought tolerant, and drapes beautifully over our entry rock wall.

And to think, I only bought it for the name.

Another plant that has been give our stamp of approval is Russian Sage. Evidently it's not really a sage and it's not really Russian, but whatever it is, we like it. It's a sparkling silvery purple in late summer when most other flowers look faded, it's drought tolerant, and the bees love it. It's also spiky but needs no staking, something I almost always refuse to do.

It's a great companion to the rose colored sedum in the background.

Hardy Geranium 'Biokovo': This plant deserves a better photo, taken when it's in bloom. It's a great ground cover, here under our Japanese maple and fills in all the nooks and crannies admirably without taking over more than it's own fair share of space. There are so many varieties of hardy geranium that a girl could start quite a collection.

Viburnums: I love this plant, our doublefile viburnum, seen here in Spring when the white flowers shine. Whole books have been written detailing the different varieties of viburnum. Like the hardy geranium, I could start a sizable collection. I just planted a korean spice viburnum that I'm hoping is a little more drought tolerant than the doublefile, it's only fault. Drought tolerance seems to be theme here. You'd think that in rainy western Washington, that wouldn't be an issue, but come August, it absolutely is. I want plants that I can pretty much ignore. But the doublefile is so gorgeous, I make an exception and drag out the hose to keep it happy.

Evergreens. When I first started planting, I had tunnel vision for the flowers. What I've found though is that without some stalwart evergreens, things can look chaotic in a hurry. I planted this adorable hinoki cypress last week and love it's chartreuse color. There's a wide range of greens and I need to explore mixing them up a bit more.

I'm happy to be heading into fall, when I can plant bulbs. This year I'm trying some species tulips, plants which will hopefully prove to be keepers in our experimental yard.

Six Years Old!

2011-09-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

This is our birthday girl last night, explaining herself to Lucy, who was in the upstairs window asking her why she'd taken out all of her jewelry (AGAIN). Even on her birthday, Cholita has a tough time staying out of trouble.

For dinner, she'd asked for a trip to Red Robin and made sure that we informed the waitress that it was her special day. While we ate dinner, she heard other September 2nd babies get sung to and could hardly wait for her own turn in the limelight. But when her birthday sundae appeared and our waitress announced that Cholita was celebrating a birthday, the guest of honor looked like she wanted to hide under the table.

It's the price you have to pay to get an ice cream sundae all to yourself, while the rest of the family looks on in envy.

The birthday festivities continued today when our neighbor came over with her horse Clover and asked XiXi and Cholita if they'd like a ride. Ummm, gee, you'll have to talk her into it, but I think she'd be willing.

Happy birthday sweet six year-old!

* At our "Cholita is Awesome" Family Home Evening, this is what the family had to say about our youngest girl:

Rose- I love her. She is sweet and fun. Yes, she is sometimes hard to cope with, but I love my absolutely hilarious sister.

Mom- Cholita has a zest for life and a determined spirit. Her laugh fills our home with joy. She is smart and strong and will do great in kindergarten.

XiXi- I love play with Cholita.

Dad- I love Cholita's spunk and enthusiasm, She loves life. She give great back rubs and hair styles. She is a wonderful girl who I love with all my heart.

Lucy- Cholita is spunky, creative, and imaginative. She has a great sense of humor and she is great at doing hair.

Bruder- Cholita is one funny munchkin. Her fun and feisty spirit is the like the salsa to the family chip. We're sure glad to have her around.

It's a Guy Thing

2011-08-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Our boy at the Museum of Flight

XiXi loves planes. He loves trains. He loves cars and trucks and emergency vehicles. To him, a construction site is a thing of beauty and boats are completely fascinating. Our local librarian knows XiXi and when he walks through the doors of the library, she goes to look for the reading material he's hankering for----guy stuff. He always stumbles out to our car with a pile of books so high it nearly obscures his vision.

Lyle came downstairs a few weeks ago looking positively giddy and asked, "Guess what we read tonight for bedtime story?" I had no idea. "We read, 'I am a Backhoe'!" He was beaming. This is a man who's read princess stories for many, many years. We've got a boy again! And we're loving it.

Actions......I may never be productive again

2011-08-30T13:13:00.000-07:00

With a name like "actions", you'd think it would involve more movement. Just with a few flicks of the mouse, I could waste an alarming number of hours. I must restrain myself.

Pioneer Woman actions are now available for PS Elements users and with assistance from my dad getting them installed, I'm now off to the races.

Here is a photo taken yesterday of Cholita, ticked off about something or other, striking a pose in front of the trumpet vine. I liked the flowers, the outfit she'd put together, and her facial expression.

But with actions, you always have to wonder if there's something better out there.

Perhaps "soft faded"?

Or maybe Pioneer Woman Black and White?

Heartland has some vintage appeal.

And "colorized" is pretty funky.

But in the end, I think I still like the original best.

And the laundry has not magically done itself.

Dang it.

I need actions for housework.

But on complete photography fails, like this picture taken last January of Olaf in the early-morning mist,

Well, I think an action improved him, don't you?

He intimidates people when he comes out of the fog like that, all 100+ pounds of canine.

Then they quickly realize he's a cream puff of a dog,

just masquerading as a Hound of the Baskervilles.

O.K., NOW I will go do laundry.

Actions are not good for me.

Sunday Sermon Courtesy of XiXi

2011-08-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday XiXi was assigned his first church talk. The topic was "My body is a temple" and since metaphor seems like more of an advanced language skill, we just went with, "Heavenly Father has a body. I have a body. I can take care of my body."

This early run-through was certainly not his best delivery, but I love how he chastises his oldest sister for not holding his picture up for everyone to see. The kid's got chutzpah, oh yes he does.

Mortimer Sackler

2011-08-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

Happy to report that the flower is prettier than the name!

Reunion Wrap-up

2011-08-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

XiXi didn't know what he was getting into when he plopped his handprint onto that paper in China! Yes, he gained parents, three sisters, and one brother, but little did he know that the package also included 36 first cousins, scores of aunts and uncles, and let's not even get into second cousins, cousins once removed, etc. etc. With that many people, those XiXi cheeks are bound to get pinched a time or two!

Lyle's family had their reunion in Idaho a couple of weeks ago we have to hand it to the reunion coordinators, Lyle's youngest sisters, for some expert planning and preparation. From the opening night fiesta to the boating days and humanitarian service project, it was a perfect mix of fun activities.

This cousin photo features all of the grandchildren on Lyle's side...except for Bruder......who was inside checking his Facebook. You'd think the photographer (his mother) would have noticed.

My kids also got to see 3 cousins from my side, in addition to my sister and my mom.

XiXi had his first experience on a tire swing, something we certainly could have done at home,

but it was more fun with cousins.

The pinata was a big hit. No pun intended.

Also a hit was the giant slip and slide park....

.....where XiXi expressed undying devotion to a certain cousin,

who was a little less enthusiastic,

but XiXi still adored her from afar....

....and worked on buttering up her mom.

For Cholita, as much as she loved the cousins, she found her soulmate in this long-suffering kitty cat.

Lyle showed that he still has water skiing skills.

And from the devilish smile on his face....

...still enjoys pestering his relatives...

....with a small dousing.

They were far too dry for water day anyway.

In her water skiing attempts, Rose wasn't quite so successful,

and got a mouthful of the Snake River as a reunion souvenir.

Bruder represented us well in the Fun Run.

You'll notice that our numbers had dwindled significantly, but what we lacked in size,

we made up for in talent. It was a smokin' fast 2 miles.

It was a wonderful end to the reunion to have all of Lyle's seven siblings and his mother with us in the Twin Falls Temple for XiXi's sealing. We're sure Lyle's father was there in spirit.

The bar has been set high for the next reunion in 2013,

in the NORTHWEST,

planned by (gulp) US!

We've started planning already.

The Garden in August

2011-08-15T20:26:00.000-07:00

I try to take photos of our garden every summer, but with XiXi's adoption, the family reunion, and just life with 5 children, the garden has been a bit neglected. Thankfully, unlike the rest of the country, we've had a very mild summer here in the Pacific Northwest, with temperatures rarely hitting 80 degrees, so the garden could handle a little neglect this year better than most. One area of our yard that's filled in nicely is right in front of the hot tub arbor. The hydrangea looks so pretty with the backdrop of clematis and akebia vine.

On the other side of the courtyard, the Altissimo rose mixes well with the Prince Charles clematis. There is also a Princess Diana clematis, but history shows that they don't mix quite as nicely.

The Autumn Sunset has put out big time this year, and has continued strong throughout the summer. As you can see in the background, we let the lawn go dormant each year, which is a nice way to say that we're too lazy to drag out the sprinklers and water it every morning. And really, it's very generous to call it lawn even on its best day. To be honest, it's more accurately a mix of dandelions, various weeds, and spindly wisps of grass. We do some things very well in the Pacific Northwest, but a lawn is definitely not one of them. With our land on a shared well, it doesn't seem right to use all the water that would be required to keep it green anyway. So, in being brown, we're really being "green", right? That's what I'll think.

As a surprise, when we came back from China, Lyle had made this beautiful trellis behind the porch swing. It makes it feel more like its own little room, an effect that will be even greater once the vines mature. I planted the clematis Montana Rubens before the trellis was even made, which I guess was a non-too-subtle hint that I wanted Lyle to get a move on it. Since then, I've also planted a Mortimer Sackler rose, which is about to bloom for the first time. I hope the flowers are more lovely than the name.

The wisteria is starting to make its move as well. I read that sometimes it takes up to seven years to bloom. Patience is not my best quality. Underneath the wisteria, I did a "lasagna" garden. It has nothing to do with food, just a layering method. That area was weedy and treacherous to mow and doing no favors to the overall look, so it had to go. I first laid down heavy cardboard donated from Costco, then some old hay, coffee grounds donated from several area Starbucks, compost, manure, topsoil, sawdust, and mulch. In just a couple of weeks it's shrunk down several inches. The idea is that the cardboard and weight will smother out the weeds and it will all break down and create lovely soil. Hopefully by then I'll have some idea of what I want to actually do with the space.

Gardening is a nearly perfect hobby for my fickle self. By the end of summer, I'm ready to hang up my trowel, and come mid-winter, I can't wait to dust it off again.

The Green Eyed Monster

2011-08-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

Jealousy. Envy. Call it what you will, I was feeling it this weekend.

My big kids attended Les Miserables, performed by the Broadway touring cast. Oh, how I love a good musical. And Les Mis is a good one.

Lucy turns 15 in October and she begged for Les Mis tickets as an early birthday present. We initially thought we'd make it a daddy/daughter date, but since Lyle and I both saw the show years ago in Iowa City, we offered Bruder the chaperone role. He jumped on it like a gator. "I love Lucy's birthday!" he proclaimed.

I dropped the kids off at the ferry dock and they went out for dinner at Ivar's Restaurant and then walked the mile to the theater. They LOVED the show, as I knew they would, and then they went to the Cheescake Factory for some nutrition. There are raspberries in there, right?

I told them that the last two ferries leaving for the island were at 12:15 and 1:35. If they missed those, they'd be sleeping under a bridge in Seattle. The play finished at 11:00, so I knew it would be late. When the phone rang at midnight, I figured they were in the terminal, just letting me know they'd be on the next ferry. Wrong.

"Um, Mom, we're lost."

"Where are you?" I asked. I'd just sat down at the computer to pull up a map.

"We're in someplace called Pioneer Square." I typed in Pioneer Square and this is what I read, copied straight from the website:

One word of caution, Pioneer Square is near the city and county courthouses as well as the county jail. Almost every time you walk through the area, you see something or somebody that seems a little off. The area is also popular with the homeless. It’s not a threatening environment, but is definitely one where you are better off staying aware of your surroundings. After dark in particular you should think twice about leaving the 1st Avenue corridor. The folks in the bars are pretty harmless. The same may not always be true up around the bus stops on 2nd and 3rd Avenues.

Great.

"Is there anyone at all who looks normal, who you could ask to point you in the direction of the ferry?"

"No!" they answered.

"Can you see the water? Head toward the water."

"Mom, no offense, but you're not being very helpful."

As I searched a map, trying to get them on the right path to the ferry, I heard a muffled unfamiliar voice and then my kids voices saying, "No thank you." This was not a comfortable parenting moment.

Needless to say, they found the ferry and made it home. We fell into our beds at about two in the morning. The big kids drifted off to sleep with "I Dreamed a Dream" floating through their heads. I, on the other hand, had to shake off visions of Jack the Ripper stalking my children.

Alls's well that ends well, but next time, I think I'll volunteer my services as an additional chaperone. Especially if it's a musical.

Bruder is Brace-Less!

2011-08-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

I think our son has set some kind of a record.....not a record anyone would want to hold, mind you, but a record none the less. Number of consecutive years spent in orthodontia! Some kids will go two years, a few stalwart souls will hang on for three or four, but it takes true grit and stamina (and very bad luck) to be a metal mouth for SEVEN years!

I distinctly remember that fateful Panorex, back in first grade, when Lyle informed me that our son was missing teeth. Well, duh. He'd just lost his first baby tooth. "No," Lyle said, "He's missing permanent teeth. Four of them." I asked him when he would get them. "He won't get them. He doesn't have them." You'd think after 4 years of being married to a dental student I would have gleaned a certain degree of knowledge and learned that sometimes people are congenitally missing teeth. Sometimes a person might even be missing a total of 8 teeth. (We later learned he doesn't have wisdom teeth either, a silver lining if there ever was one.)

So, he's been in some phase of ortho for a long, long time, with the actual braces starting at age 10. He's had a palatal expander, extractions of deciduous molars and canines, headgear, rubber bands going every which way, and has basically experienced the whole orthodontic enchilada. In addition to the missing teeth, he also had a rotated tooth and a retained baby tooth. His orthodontist dubbed his mouth, "as complicated as it gets" and said that it would take "heroic" measures to give him a beautiful smile.

The missing teeth that were most problematic, at least appearance-wise, were the lateral incisors. Sometimes with missing laterals, doctors will move over the canines and shave them down to look like laterals. Lyle didn't like that option, so Bruder's canines were moved back and forth across the top of his mouth to help develop the bone that will eventually hold implants. Through all of this, Bruder went through many stages that even a loving mother would call awkward.

When his peers were no longer missing teeth (or "sporting mixed dentition", as my husband would say),

fake teeth were tied into the braces.

The photo below was taken on Saturday.

And then, just two days later, we went through the familiar doors of the ortho office

for Bruder's debanding appointment.

And here he is.....

....without metal in his mouth!
I seriously cannot get over it
and keep staring at him,
which is kind of creeping him out.

It will take some getting used to, but we all agree that he looks fantastic.

I can't say that he's completely done; he has fake teeth attached to a clear retainer and will get implants in a few years when we're sure he's done growing, but for the first time ever, he looks done.

And even though I'm biased,
and would think he looks handsome with or without teeth,

I'm pretty sure it was worth it.

Forever and Ever

2011-08-08T15:30:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, August 6th,

in the Twin Falls Idaho Temple,

our sweet XiXi was sealed to his forever parents.

He was so very excited for his special day and had been talking about it for weeks.

On the way there, he sang, "I Love to See the Temple,"

words which were made even more meaningful as we drove back and forth

through Twin Falls, unable to locate the temple! When we spotted the spire in the distance,

we did indeed love to see the temple!

Despite that bit of panic, we were made to feel like honored (if not directionally-challenged)

guests the moment we walked through the front doors.

"How do you get lost in Twin Falls?" was whispered between workers.

When they learned we're from Washington and were in Idaho for a family reunion, they forgave us.

They took our kids to the children's room and we didn't see them again until right before the ceremony.

It was enough to bring tears to a parent's eye.

XiXi has so perfectly blended into our family and we can't imagine our lives without him.

Thankfully we'll never have to!

We love you, XiXi.

Five Years Ago Today

2011-07-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

In the city of Nanning, China,

this little girl entered our lives.

She was so brave and trusting

and decided immediately

that we were for her and she was for us.

She loved each member of the family, but she adored her Dad.

And still does.

Believe it or not, we can still get her into her Gotcha' Day Outfit. Five years ago

the "shorts" fit her as pants, and the tank top was tied in big knots at the shoulders.

I think the outfit could probably live to see at least one more Gotcha' Day Anniversary.

We had our two biggest kids with us in China and they were enthralled with their new sister.

In five years, they've grown up a bit too, but still adore their Jin Qiu Ju.

For five years, her smile has brightened our lives

and her sweet and feisty spirit has won our hearts completely.

Thank you, China for this most precious daughter.

Language Lessons, Life Lessons, and One Unfortunate Pig

2011-07-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

I knew, based on research, that XiXi would lose his ability to speak Mandarin. I knew that on a logical, cognitive level, but on a deeper level, I had a hard time really believing it. Or at least believing that it would happen as quickly as researchers said it would, 12 weeks. Twelve weeks to completely lose the ability to speak your native tongue? It seemed impossible. Yet, here we are, just past the 12 week mark, and suddenly XiXi can't seem to speak Mandarin. Or if he can, he refuses to do so.

We were at a Chinese restaurant about a week ago and the waitress was so excited to speak with him. She chattered away and XiXi just stared at the ground. She gave me a quizzical look like, didn't you say he was raised in China? Then she tried some very basic questions, asked loudly and slowly. "What is your name?" and "How old are you?" He stared silently at the ground. Finally I whispered in his ear, "San sway" (three years old). He still said nothing, so I pushed the issue. "XiXi, say 'san sway'." Finally, barely audibly, he mumbled "san sway" and then buried his head on my shoulder. Just a few days ago we ran into "Ayi", our friend who's spoken with XiXi several times since he came home, and it was the same situation. He wouldn't say a word in Mandarin, not so much as a Nihao. When she changed the conversation to English, he responded.

Not surprisingly, with the end of Mandarin, his English has exploded. He speaks in full sentences, using pronouns, different tenses, adjectives, and prepositions. I find it truly miraculous. As we were leaving the library yesterday, XiXi said, "I want to go home and lay on the couch with my library books." That's one heck of a long sentence for someone who was only introduced to a language 3 months ago. I've loved being able to communicate with him on a deeper level. We joke together, tell stories, and just really converse. We're also learning more and more about his life in China. Reading a book about a farm, he pointed to the pig and pantomimed cutting its throat and said, "In China, cut pig on the head and then eat the pig. Oh, yummy." To get the full effect, you had to see the slaughter acted out by our 4 year-old. I asked him who killed the pig and he said that China Baba killed the pig. "XiXi no do it," he said. "Baba say 'stand back.'" Thank you, China Baba for keeping our boy in an observer role in the slaughter!

XiXi saw a picture of himself in China a few days ago and his face became very serious and he said, "No like it in China." For some reason that bothered me and I said, "No, XiXi. You liked China." He emphatically shook his head. "No," he said. "No like it in China. Like it here. Want to stay here."

I think in his young mind, he has to separate the two lives. I absolutely believe that he felt love in China; I just don't think he can mentally be in both places. If he liked it there, he'd be missing it here, and he doesn't want that sadness. He has cannonballed into this new life at the deep end and he's refusing to sink. He's swimming for all he's worth and he's making incredible progress. We feel privileged to be on the journey with him. We adore this boy.

Four Years Old Today! (Kind of)

2011-07-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

XiXi has a fantastic birthdate--7/7/07. As a mother of five, I very much appreciate this easy-to-remember date and should have thanked the orphanage staff for choosing it. However, this July 7th, his biggest sister was away at camp and she begged to postpone the festivities until the 9th so that she could celebrate with him on his first birthday home. Thankfully, he doesn't know the difference, so today was the day!

He requested a "tasty and pretty cake with strawberries". Our garden has been full to bursting with strawberries, so the strawberry part was not a problem. We also had the tasty portion of his request down, but the "pretty" part of cakes has always eluded me. It's eluded me so much that I decided long ago that the 9X13 quickie option is my cake love match and haven't looked back. I managed the strawberry border, and XiXi was in charge of candle placement and any extra decoration.

He chose this challenging spread-out candle arrangement and then opted for a

large strawberry grouping for balance.

He seemed pleased.

His siblings took so much time picking out his presents. Rose found him figurines of all the animals he said he had in China--pigs, goats, and chickens. Lucy and Bruder bought a large pack of various airplanes, which XiXi loves, Maya got him an "Elefun" game for them to play together,

and from Mom and Dad, XiXi got a play ambulance.

He said the person being rushed to the hospital had "a sore dudzuh".

When it came time for the song, he sweetly looked around the table at each person,

smiling to beat the band.

With the candles blown out, I'd say this boy is officially 4 years-old.

Well, two days ago he was 4 years-old.

But now he knows it!

Happy Birthday Mr. XiXi!

Observant

2011-07-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

Despite the lack of blogging activity, we are alive and well. Summer brings with it an amazing amount of laundry and we're barely keeping our heads above water (or above the laundry baskets, I guess). But this little guy is deserving of an update and an update he shall have.

We met him in China three months ago. It's a trite expression but truly, I can't remember what it was like before he came. He's blended so seamlessly into our family and community. There are many things I can attribute this to, but one of the biggest is that he observes and then he tries so hard to do what's expected. This summer we've joined out local YMCA and when I took him for his first class, an art class, I explained to the teacher that he's still learning English and that he might have a hard time following directions. From the upstairs track, I could look down into the kids' area and spy on our little man. He was always just a slight step behind everyone else, taking the time to first watch, but then he'd jump in and do exactly what he was supposed to do. The teacher raved about him and said they'd be thrilled to have him back any time.

In the pool, he didn't have such an ideal experience. He loves the pool and is well behaved, but apparently he was leaning on the partial wall that separates the kid pool from the adult pool, and a teenaged lifeguard thought XiXi was planning a move from the little pond to the big. The lifeguard yelled at him, "Do not cross that boundary!" XiXi stared at him, not sure how to respond. The lifeguard said, "Are you listening to me?" and then added, "Where is your mother?" If he'd used the word "Mom" or "Mama" or "Mommy", XiXi would have known exactly what he was saying, but as it was, he just quietly stared at him with tears welling up in his eyes. I was annoyed at the lifeguard, who I felt was on a bit of a power trip, but it was a good reminder that I can't get complacent about XiXi's language. Now that we're past our initial communication issues, it would be easy to let him stagnate. At home, we know what he does and doesn't understand, but that's not the case with everyone else.

He's feeling sick today and I stayed home from church with him. He was supposed to be the "reverence child" and was sad to miss that moment in the limelight. As his fever worsened through the morning, I brought him some medicine. I told him it would make him feel better and without hesitation he gulped it down. Then he immediately threw his legs over the side of the bed and said excitedly, "Thank you, Mom! Feel better!" He hadn't even put both feet on the floor before he plopped back down with a dejected look and said, "Still sick." I laughed and told him that he would feel better later. He kept me appraised of his progress with updates about every ten minutes, "Still sick, Mom!" or "Oh, dudzuh" (stomach) and finally, "Little bit better!" When he made it downstairs and began playing with his trains, he gave me the sweetest look of happy amazement. "Better, Mom!" A teaspoon of children's Tylenol and suddenly I'm the miracle worker.

While he was lounging in bed, I showed him a book about animals. On the pig page, he pointed and said, "Pig in China." I asked him, "You had a pig in China?" He nodded his head and said yes. I told him that a pig says oink and he looked at me strangely, shook his head, and made the most realistic animal noise ever uttered in our household. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was in the swine barn at the county fair. I don't doubt for a moment that his foster family did in fact own a pig. XiXi can now understand "China" and "here" and that's been a great advance in our communication. I asked him today if he wanted to go back to China for a visit and he immediately said no. "Stay here," he said. Then he quickly added, "With Mom and Dad and...." And then we went back and forth naming everyone in the family, including the dogs. I thought we were finished when he put his finger in the air and yelled, "And Signing Time!" No, they don't have the show Signing Time in China and apparently he'd miss it.

Sometimes before an interaction, I'll dialogue with him to let him practice. He went to a doctor last week and I told him that the doctor would say, "How are you doing XiXi?" and he practiced answering, "Good. How are you?" When the doctor came in, she said, "Hi, XiXi. How old are you?" Dang it. "Good! How are you?" he said with a proud smile. He was so excited to deliver his answer that I don't think he'd even heard the question! He tries so hard.

As I type, he's laying on a window seat next to me, wrapped in a blanket like a little sausage. "Mom," he just said, "Feel sick. Go in tub." Although I certainly never want my kids to feel sick, there's something I do treasure about sick days--that all of the mundane stuff gets pushed aside and snuggle time and stories take top priority. I think I need to treat more healthy days as sick days..... and surrender to the fact that I'll never be caught up on laundry.

One Decade

2011-06-12T15:41:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe our Rose is into the double digits. On Friday night, birthday eve, Lyle took all the kids camping. Rose wasn't sure she wanted to go. She was worried she wouldn't get her traditional birthday breakfast in bed. Lyle instead promised her "breakfast in bag", and they were off. Bruder even hauled the dutch oven up the mountain so that they could make an especially wonderful breakfast of german pancakes. She's spoiled.

Every year on Rose's birthday, the rose outside our front door is in full bloom, perfect for a birthday photo. This year it wasn't quite up to snuff. We did our best though and put Rose beside one of the two blooms.

This photo from two years ago shows where our rose is usually at by June 11th.

No matter. She had a great birthday, full of good food, great presents, and lots of love.

I tried to find a baby photo of Rose on the computer, but digital photography didn't happen in our family until Rose was a toddler. Here she is serenading Olaf.....

.....who's also grown just a tad.

We love our birthday girl.

Olaf's O.K. too.

P.S. Last night for Family Home Evening, our lesson was "Rose is Awesome!" Everyone wrote something they love about her and she had to guess who said what:

XiXi: "Rose cello"

Cholita: "I love it when Rose plays with me."

Lucy: "Rose is so funny and sweet. I love her spirited personality and her innocent way of talking and acting. She is a great and spunky girl."

Bruder: "Rose is many things. Some call her cute, some call her feisty, and an even larger majority classify her as extremely intelligent. Yes, Rose is a lot of things, but if there is one thing she isn't, it's a stereotype. Rose is the very definition of the word unique, which is always something the world could use."

Mom: "I love when Rose goes outside and throws her face up to the sky and drinks in the rain or the wind or the sun. She lives life to the fullest."

Dad: "I like hiking and running with Rose. Today we decided to run a marathon together one day. She was a great hiking companion on our last trip."

A Little Late, But Worth the Wait

2011-06-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

Our first roses of the season!

Last year they were in full bloom by the beginning of June.

But right now things are just opening up.

Our climbing rose has one fully opened flower. It looks a bit lonely.

I can't believe how much growth this rose has put on after the drastic pruning I did at the end of Winter.

It's growing like a weed.

Ditto for this little boy.

Who was also worth the wait.

P.S. This week XiXi put together his longest sentence to date:

"Mom, Cholita said she doesn't want to brush her teeth."

We've found that when it comes to tattling, the language barrier disappears.

A Gift Comes Via E-Mail

2011-06-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have so few photos of our XiXi pre-adoption. There were 6 that were given to me by the orphanage and 3 that I found on someone's blog.

Last week, I got an e-mail with the subject line, "I Have a Surprise for You!". It was from a friend who adopted a teenaged boy from Kunming only about a month before we met XiXi. XiXi and this boy had been in the same "family" in the orphanage. Evidently, this young man has been in e-mail contact with some of the workers and teachers from the orphanage and one of them asked if he'd heard anything about XiXi. He wrote back that XiXi's mother knew his mother and that he followed our blog. He took some photos off of our blog and e-mailed them to the teacher. The teacher was thrilled to get them, and then sent an e-mail (with attachments!) in response. The mother forwarded it on to me. What a priceless and wonderful surprise!

This is our XiXi, just before his second birthday. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I think his cheeks were even more squeezable back in 2009!

This photo was taken two months later and explains XiXi's reluctance to get out of his pajama pants each morning.

Further evidence that he wore PJ pants all day long. He saw this picture, pointed to the pants and yelled, "Cars!" I get the impression they were his favorite jammies. (I'm basing this on the fact that he didn't scream "apples" when viewing the PJ's in the previous picture.)

I've cropped down this photo and the next, since I don't know the little friend pictured with him. They were taken a year ago. He looks so happy, doesn't he?

As wonderful as these pictures are, my favorite picture was a group photo of the children in his orphanage family. It was taken in 2009 and XiXi was the youngest by far, with most of the kids 10 and older. Of the 11 kids in the picture, I know of only 4 who have been adopted. I remember meeting several of them when we toured the orphanage. One of the girls sobbed when she heard we'd spoken to her dear friend and orphanage sister, who is now living in the U.S. She missed her so much. This girl was already 14 and too old to be adopted. What a different life for these two girls. I cried too.

When XiXi saw the picture of the kids, he got a huge smile on his face and looked at it for a long time. He whispered some names in my ear, but mostly he just called them "big sister" or "big brother". One of the girls, a ten year-old who is now with a family in the U.S., told her mother that, "XiXi was treated special." That's certainly the impression that I got and also what I've heard that from everyone who knew him there. "XiXi was spoiled," or "XiXi was the favorite." I'm so glad that he was well-cared for, but it's also bittersweet, knowing that that wasn't necessarily the case for some other children, especially the girls. No matter what, an orphanage is no substitute for a home.

I'm so very thankful that XiXi is home.

Just When You Thought We Were Weird

2011-05-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

We got weirder.

There are now 8 baby chicks living in our music room.

My original vision for the music room was a formal parlor where the pillows were always placed just-so, where fresh flower arrangements graced the coffee table,

where visitors would sit on well-upholstered sofas and sip tea.

But there's actually no sofa in that room

and we don't drink tea anyway,

so since the image is already blown,

we may as well blow it big time by adding a little farmyard to the parlor.

Here, Cholita is holding her chick, Mrs. Howell.

Poor Mrs. Howell. She was carried around in a pocket much of the day yesterday.

Mrs. Howell, and her friend, Ginger (my chick) are Buff Orpingtons.

Among the other ladies (we hope they're ladies) are 3 Black Australorps

and three Silverlace Wyandottes.

Cholita is currently serenading them with her ukulele.

Nothing but high society here in our parlor.

Two Months

2011-05-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe we met this little boy only two months ago. On March 28th, he was understandably scared and sad and overwhelmed. Those first few weeks included many tantrums and a few epic meltdowns.

Two months later, he has melded so perfectly into our family. I can't pinpoint exactly what has taken place; I just know that everything suddenly feels easier. He seems more at ease, which puts the rest of us at ease. He can play independently now and doesn't need Mama there every moment of the day. This has been huge. He and Cholita are now usually good friends, which has brought a feeling of peace back to our home---well, as peaceful as it can be with 5 children.

The language difficulties have largely vanished. We still would love to communicate with him on a deeper level, and he has a long way to go before I'd call him fluent, but he has functional English. If I was dropped in China two months ago, I guarantee that I would not have functional Mandarin. XiXi can get his needs met with his present vocabulary and seems to understand a great deal more than he can say. Even without anyone around, I hear him playing in the other room, speaking English, not Mandarin. When a Mandarin speaker asks him questions, he still understands the Mandarin, but often answers back in English, or a mix of English and Mandarin, or sometimes just complete gibberish. He no longer jabbers away in Mandarin. I don't know if that's by choice or because the Mandarin is slipping away, or probably a combination of both.

He's very intuitive and understands a great deal through observation. He helped Lyle with a building project the other day and Lyle said that XiXi just seemed to know what to do to be helpful. When Lyle needed boards held together, without being asked, XiXi held them together. XiXi handed him screws when he needed screws. He's very logical and has a quick mind. He's also street smart and savvy. Last week when he saw the goats fighting, he picked up a handful of gravel, threw it against the barn wall, and glared at the stunned animals, who hung their heads in shame. After just a few weeks in Primary, he indicated that he wanted to give the opening prayer, so I asked if he could have that assignment. Much to everyone's surprise, he marched right up to the microphone and said a perfectly understandable prayer in English.

After we agreed to adopt XiXi, I'll admit to a moment of panic. Well, many moments of panic. What have I done? I thought to myself. This boy will be nearly four years old! What if he has severe attachment issues? What if he's violent? What if he's been permanently scarred by orphanage life? What if I've just ruined our family? Then I got an e-mail from our agency's in-China representative. She knew us from Cholita's adoption and she said that when she heard we were interested in adopting Xi Yun Xi, she called a woman who works in XiXi's orphanage. Over the years she'd built a friendship with her and had a great deal of faith in her honesty. Unbeknownst to us, she called and asked if there was any reason we should not adopt this boy. At the mention of XiXi's name, her friend (who I believe was Ayi from Gotcha' Day) said, "Oh, he's such a great boy." In only two months, I can wholeheartedly agree. He's such a great boy.

Like a Kid in a Candy Shop

2011-05-27T14:32:00.001-07:00

Rose and I have had a lovely few days, pouring over the Heirloom Roses catalogue, planning our purchase. While Lucy enjoys helping her dad in the vegetable garden, Rose is (appropriately) all about the flowers. She often checks out books from the library which feature full-color photos of roses and fills the pages with little papers, marking her favorites. I love that about her.

So, from our dog-earred, well-worn catalogue, these are the roses which are now winging their way to our home:

Mme. Alfred Carriere

This lovely flower is a climbing noisette from France, introduced in 1879. It's described as vigorous, nearly thornless, and having a wonderful fragrance. It blooms continuously through the season with buds that open pale pink, then go through stages of cream and white. It will climb our dining trellis, replacing our Cecile Brunner that sadly met its demise of some unknown rose disease. Hopefully it's not a doomed spot. Apparently Mme. Alfred Carriere is a very hardy, disease resistant rose, so we'll keep our fingers crossed.

Alexandre Girault

This is another old rambler rose, also from France, introduced in 1909. It's a once-bloomer, but apparently so magnificent during those few weeks that you can forgive it during the rest of the year. It's described as very fragrant and extremely disease resistant. It will go against the back of the house and climb the porch railing up onto the roof. The dark pink blooms should look lovely against the white house. Can't wait to see it.

Mortimer Sackler

I can't believe this lovely specimen is named Mortimer Sackler. Does it look even remotely like a Mortimer? I don't think so either. Anyway, Rose begged for a classic-looking bubble gum pink rose. That sounded great to me too, but I required minimal thorns, great disease resistance, and in this particular location, shade tolerance. We spent hours trying to find the one rose that would fit the bill, and lo and behold, Mortimer had it all. It's a new David Austin rose, introduced in England in 2002, so I couldn't find many reviews, but we're willing to give it a go.

In a few years, these babies should be spectacular. In the meantime, our Autumn Sunset rose is filled with buds and should be impressive come Rose's birthday in June.

Got Your Goat?

2011-05-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

We did. We got three actually.

In the olden days of horse racing, owners often transported a goat along with their racehorse. Horses like companionship and a goat would keep them calm during travel. To rattle a rival's horse, an unscrupulous owner might just get their goat.

Well, today we got our goats....not through thievery or with ill-intentions. A patient of Lyle's is moving to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (not terrorists, as far as we know) and asked if we'd be interested in this threesome of Nigerian Dwarf Goats. Since we're in need of bramble eaters and manure producers, Lyle didn't hesitate.

We transported them this morning in the back of the truck, in an old dog kennel. I followed in the van and noticed many double-takes from passing cars. What the heck? seemed to be the general expression. At stop lights, even with all the windows up, I could hear them bleating. That's what goats do, isn't it? I'm still learning the lingo.

XiXi told us he took care of goats in the foster village in China, so he's now our resident expert. Here he is with Costello, one of the wethers (again, new lingo).

As the resident expert, XiXi showed us a few goat-keeping tricks.

Notably, he finds that peek-a-boo.....

........really helps goats to settle into a new home.

Lyle and his dad built this barn years ago when we had horses. The horses proved too much for us, so Lyle is revamping the back overhang to accommodate goats and eventually chickens.

It's still early in construction, but the right side houses the goats, the left side will house chickens and the middle will feature a dutch door for people (hopefully the kids) to use when caring for said animals. Lyle's mentioned something about roosting boxes and windows on the top for ventilation. I haven't fully caught his vision, but I've seen enough projects to know it will be one seriously decked-out chicken coop/goat house.

The goats seem to love their ramp entrance. Guinevere is posing.

She's our only female and is a favorite with our girls.

But I can tell I'm going to like Hermes. If a goat can be photogenic, I'd say that he is.

I think it's the beard.

We did have our first escape, but once the kids took chase, the goats made a quick U-turn and high-tailed it right back to their house.

Where they can live in peace, away from the little people.

Thinking about Mamas

2011-05-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting few days on the China Mama front.....

XiXi

XiXi was with a foster family in China for about 8 months. In the life of a three year-old, that's a long time. Being the charmer that he is, I have no doubt that his foster mother was completely wrapped around his chubby little finger. Xixi was taken back to the orphanage a week before we met him in China. I was told that he was deeply bonded to his foster mother and that the parting was very traumatic.

XiXi's orphanage does not allow any contact with foster families. They refuse to give names or permit visitors to the village. The only exception to this was a heritage tour that took place 2 years ago. At the time, XiXi was still in the orphanage. Two women on that tour took pictures and video during their visit and posted them on blogs. I've sat with XiXi on my lap, scrolling through all of those pictures, hoping that he would spot his foster mother, but he didn't. He'd point out his house, the chickens and goats he cared for, and the garden he helped tend, but never the woman he called Mama. A couple of weeks ago, one of the women who was on the tour asked me if I'd seen her videos, which were posted at the bottom of her webpage. I hadn't, so I tried playing the videos for XiXi. For whatever reason, our computer wouldn't let them load completely. One particular video had him very upset and when it continually stopped about three seconds into it, he threw himself on the floor in a tantrum. He was tired, so I put him down for a nap.

Two days ago I tried the videos again and saw that they were working. I put XiXi on my lap and began the video that had previously put him into such a fit. It showed four women, dressed in the clothes of the Yi minority, singing a song and pouring drinks for the visitors. It's not even quite one minute long. As it neared the end, I noticed that XiXi was crying--not sobbing, just quiet tears. I asked him in Mandarin if he knew those women and he nodded. Then he stood on my lap, pointed to one of them, and said, "That's my Mama." He put his face close to the screen and asked me to play the video again. We played it probably ten times. Then he sat back on my lap and hugged me and cried.

That day, we went to the home of our Mandarin-speaking friend. I felt like there were some important things for XiXi to hear and I wanted him to hear it while he still understands Mandarin. Our friend told him: You were a very good boy in China and did nothing wrong. Your foster mother knew you were coming to a new home in the United States and she was excited for you. We love your foster mother and are so happy that she took such good care of you. We are your family forever now and you don't have to worry about leaving ever again.

He didn't respond, but he sat quietly and listened. What a dear boy.

Cholita

Last night for story, Cholita picked the book, "Here's a Penny". It's an older book, written by Carolyn Haywood, the author of the Betsy books. In the first chapter, Penny, who was adopted, was told by the girl next door that he wasn't his mother and father's "really, truly" little boy. Cholita thought that was a mean thing for the girl to say and also that it was completely wrong. She said that she knew she was our really, truly girl. Then she broached a subject that she hasn't touched in a long time. She asked how long China Mama had kept her before she took her to the orphanage. I told her that it was about one day. "One day?!" she asked, shocked. We've discussed this before, but maybe that particular point never sunk in. "Only one day?" I told her that she was still a brand new baby when she was found, only about 4 1/2 pounds. "So China Mama doesn't even know what I look like, since she only saw me when I was a baby?" I told her that was right. "Oh, I wish she could see me now and that I could see her." I told her that I was sure her China Mama would think she was very pretty and that she'd be so happy to hear that she's such a healthy and kind little girl. I asked her if there were things she wanted to talk to her China Mama about, but she shook her head no. "I would just want to go to China and give her hugs.....but I wouldn't want to stay very long, because I'd miss everyone at home."

What a dear girl.

Cholita doesn't know it, but this past week we've begun the process to dig a little deeper into her past. Most likely, nothing will come of it, but as she grows older and her questions continue, we can tell her that we did our best to make her wish come true: to see her China Mama.

We are so blessed with these children and are forever grateful to their dear mothers, foster and biological. They will always have a place in our hearts.

The Best Birthday Present Part II

2011-05-17T20:47:00.001-07:00

I went for a walk this evening and while I was gone, Bruder wrote and recorded this little number. He's also playing the guitar. In typical teenage boy fashion, it's mostly about food. Pretty funny. Be sure to listen until the very end, at about 2:08 all the kids come in and you can just make out little XiXi's voice. And when the song finishes and he says, "Wo ai ni, Mama," (I love you, Mom), well it brought a tear to my eye.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/e_B2j2Vz/The_Mom_Song.html?

I told everyone that I didn't want them to spend a single cent on my birthday this year and in addition to Bruder's song, they came through with awesome presents. Lucy washed my car, Rose slipped me an invitation to the "Cellotastic" recital featuring an original song entitled, Love Ya', Cholita and XiXi gave me lots of hugs and kisses, and Lyle made me breakfast in bed and a truly spectacular dinner. It was a fantastic birthday.

The Best Birthday Present Ever

2011-05-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

My youngest two....

could it be.....

yes, I believe it is....

the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

And it's not just a birthday truce in honor of their mother. For the past week, they've been caught reading stories in Cholita's bed when they're supposed to be going to sleep, riding bikes together, playing school, sharing toys, and giggling at each other's jokes.

Cholita finally, after a lifetime of searching, has found someone who shares her appreciation for Barbie: The Island Princess. These people do not just grow on trees. XiXi not only watches it with her, he takes the part of the prince and Cholita, who goes through numerous costume changes during the show, curtsies to him in her ball gown and XiXi bows deeply. When asked if her brother is a good dancer, Cholita said, "Well, he doesn't step on my feet," which I think means he's acceptable......and also that beggars can't be choosers.

We could not have found a more perfect match for our Cholita. Both kids are sweet, smart, strong-willed survivors. Our international adoption doctor once used the term, "resilient rascals" and it fits. Some days heavier on the "rascal" than others, but always resilient. We love our rascal duo and we're so thankful they're starting to love each other.

Wow! Shand Box!

2011-05-14T16:23:00.001-07:00

XiXi tends to make all "S" sounds into "Sh" and today, upon seeing a beach for the first time, he exclaimed, "Wow! Shand box!" Yes, all for you my dear, the world's largest shand box!

In the great Northwest, bathing suits are often worn in combination with coats. As a matter of fact, we pretty much had the whole beach/shand box to ourselves because it doesn't really get warm here until July, maybe August, and even then, the water's frigid.

But this nut of a girl decided that she wanted to take off all clothing down to her swimsuit and risk hypothermia by taking a dip. I told her that she'd be miserable. I told her that she'd regret it. But there was no stopping her.

I hate to say I told ya' so, but seriously, Cholita.

The must-have item of the day, the fought-over item was the funnel. No matter how many beach toys we bring, there's always one that everyone wants. Or at least the two youngest want.

Lyle was on a hike with Lucy and Bruder was at a district track meet, scoring his best time of the season in the half mile (2:07), so Rose was the big kid today. Seeing her out and about in nature just makes me smile. She revels in wind and rain and snow and sunshine. She does The Sound of Music spin with arms thrown back and head turned up to the sky. She reminds me that the world is truly a fantastic place.

And she's a pretty fantastic kid.

We went home sandy and tired.

Some still chilly in a damp bathing suit.

And some with a kink in the neck.

It was a good Saturday.

Our Boy's Name

2011-05-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

The most commonly asked question that I get after, "How's he doing?" is "How do you pronounce that name that starts with the X?"

XiXi is pronounced "She-She", just like the female pronoun. Well, technically it's "She-She"with a subtle hint of "See-See" thrown into the mix. (And if you can easily accomplish that bit of verbal gymnastics, you should sign up for Mandarin classes right now because you'd be awesome.) "She-She" doesn't sound terribly masculine and even in Kunming, our guide said that XiXi is usually a girl's name in China as well. So no matter which country he's in, the poor kid's a boy named Sue.

Naming is hard for me. Re-naming is especially hard for me. With Cholita, we had to make a conscious effort to call her by her American name. She just didn't seem like anything but QiuJu. However, I knew that Americans would never pronounce her name correctly and frankly, a Mandarin speaker would tell you that I don't even pronounce her name correctly, and I'm her mother. So, we slowly made the switch to her American name, but still frequently call her QiuJu and horrible derivations of Qiu (pronounced Cho)--such as Cholita.

With XiXi, it's a more difficult situation. Cholita was only 11 months old and didn't seem terribly attached to her name anyway. XiXi is almost four years old and he absolutely knows his name. In China, I tried adding his American name to his Chinese name and almost instantly, he added that name to all of our names--Simon Mama, Simon Baba, etc. It was like he figured it was a precursor to a name and wasn't necessarily referring to him. For the rest of our time in China, we only called him XiXi. He was dealing with so many new things, I didn't want to add one more.

On the blog, his name will remain XiXi. At home, he's still XiXi (She-She). That's all we call him right now, with some horrid derivations creeping in. I think my favorite is Lyle's nickname for him-- Sheesh. Or Sheesherton or Sheeshinator. All pretty awful. I'd originally thought that we'd ask his opinion on naming, but I've changed my mind. I feel quite confident that he'd only want to go by his Chinese name, which is fine, but I think he needs to understand the English language a little bit more before he can make that decision. A couple of years from now, when he fully realizes that a "She" is a girl, and has answered the "How do you pronounce your name?" question about 100 times, if he still wants to be called XiXi, I completely support it. He does know now that both names refer to him and he answers to both. I think when he starts school in the Fall, the tide will turn in favor of his American name. Either way, we sure love our disco-dancing, ukulele-playing, purple heel-wearing What's-His-Name.

Adore him, actually.

Calling all hairdressers!

What to do with hair that puts one in the mind of....

well......

to be honest.....

a hedgehog?

This Much I Know

2011-05-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

One evening, Lucy yelled, "eagle!" and excitedly pointed to the sky. We live in the Pacific Northwest and eagle sightings aren't rare but also aren't common enough to make them ho-hum. XiXi shielded his eyes and looked up shouting, "eagle!", scanning the sky for whatever it was that might be an eagle. For all he knew it was the clouds. When he saw it, he jumped up and down. "Eagle!! Eagle!!" It was the highlight of his day.

The next morning, some a generic, tiny brown bird landed on our lawn. "Eagle!" XiXi shouted. "No," I told him. "Just bird. Not eagle." He furrowed his brow, pointed at me and sternly said, "eagle." End of discussion.

He knows the names of at least two colors in English--red and green. He knows these because he loves all things automotive and I've pointed out the red and green traffic lights. Red means stop. Green means go. And woe unto the person in front of Mama's minivan who does not immediately gun the engine when a light turns green. "Go, Mama! GO!" he screams from the backseat, almost in a panic. Green means go, dang it. But as much as green can get his dander up, red has him very, very upset. Red means stop, but when Mama turns right on a red light, he's beside himself. "Boo Shur, Mama! No!" Either his Mama is a chronic lawbreaker or something that he "knows" is not absolute. Whichever the case, it upsets him.

This past month it's come to my attention that our language is rife with rule-breakers. And not just rule-breakers, because things like tense and pluralization and spelling are beyond him, but how on any given day one particular thing can be called by many different names and still mean the same thing, or roughly the same thing. I was reading him, "Caps for Sale," last week and on page 2, I made a quick substitution. "Hats! Hats for Sale! Fifty cents a hat!" He'd just learned "hat", why muddy the water with cap? I've never chosen my words more carefully.

He's learning who does what in the family and has us pegged as: the one who rides a bus and plays the cello, the one who drives a red stick shift and plays the guitar, the one who drives a truck and goes to work, the one who drives a minivan and mostly stays home, the one who rides a bus and plays the piano, and the one who rides a bike and owns all of the things he wants to have. If someone besides Rose touches the cello, well, just don't do it. If Mama leaves the house and Baba stays, he's often very put-out. Yesterday, he was cradling something gingerly in his hands. I wondered if it was a bug. He carefully opened his chubby fists, and there inside, were two plastic guitar pics. "Gu Gu" (brother), he whispered, almost reverently.

We had a visit from our Mandarin-speaking friend the other day. On our computer screen, I'd pulled up some photos of the foster village. There were well over a hundred photos in the album and we clicked through them quickly. At one point, he excitedly pointed and motioned that I needed to go back. We scrolled back through and he found the picture he wanted. It was just a street scene in a countryside village, with a few buildings nestled beside green mountains. He told our friend, "I lived there." He looked at it for a long time. He said that he missed it. He missed it a lot sometimes. There, he knew the people. He knew the routine. He knew his place in the routine. Here, he's relearning all of that and if in the process a chickadee gets promoted to an eagle, I doubt the chickadee would mind.

Bruder

2011-05-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

Just days after returning home from China, our oldest turned seventeen. He was born right before we started dental school, a six pound eleven ounce blue-faced limp baby. When the doctor laid him on my stomach, I thought we'd lost him. His heart rate had dropped so quickly and it was an urgent and scary delivery. As he lay there, lifeless, the doctor rubbed him and said, "Come on, little guy. Come on." Our baby let out a scream, turned pink, and the rest of us could finally breathe as well.

I shouldn't have been surprised that he turned into a runner. He actually ran before he walked. He was 15 months old and couldn't even stand without holding onto something. Then one day, without warning, he let go of the couch and high-tailed it over to a chair, which he grabbed like a swimmer snagging a life buoy. He could only remain upright if he sprinted and he had checkpoints all over the house. He could make it from fridge to table, table to love seat, love seat to TV, sprinting all the way. It was days before he could slow to a jog, and then a walk, and finally he could stand.

This past weekend, his distance medley team won at a large invitational. He runs the half mile and his PR this season is 2:09, qualifying him for the district tournament. Lyle picked him up from the meet and hurried him home to shower and clean up for......

PROM!

I love that his date's mom sent me these photos.

I love that my son allowed me to contact his date's mom to ask for said photos.

Not all teenaged boys would be so willing.

Bruder, nicknamed when Cholita mispronounced "brother", is truly the ultimate big Bruder for his siblings. He's such a great example to them. The morning after prom, he gave a wonderful talk in church. He gets up early every morning to drive himself to seminary. He asks what he can do to help. He even cleans his room for goodness sake.

I was at a park near a high school a couple of weeks ago and when the bell rang, several young men Bruder's age wandered over to the swings. This was XiXi's first trip to a local park and when these high schoolers began talking, I could not believe the constant stream of profanity leaving their mouths. Leaving their mouths with full knowledge that little children were right next to them. I almost said something but I knew from their behavior that they would respond with something ugly and I didn't want my kids to see that either. But as I walked away, I thought with such gratitude, "My son would never do that."

If I could go back through time and give my young mother self some advice it would be, "Just enjoy him." All the worries I had for my first-born were totally unfounded. He's a wonderful young man and we're so blessed to be his parents.

One Month Ago Today....

2011-04-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

We met our Yi Man in the Civil Affairs Office in Kunming. He was not at all pleased. To say the least.

I actually had to look at the calendar to make sure my dates were right because I cannot believe we met him only one month ago. He's come so far so quickly.

*He gives love and affection very readily. As a matter of fact, some days he wants to be hugged all day long. Today he came to me and held up three fingers and then put his arms out for a hug. He hugged me three times and then ran off to play, totally satisfied. If his love tank can be filled with only three hugs as opposed to hours on the porch swing, this is major progress.

*He wants to "help" with everything. Like EVERYTHING. This is great and this is tiring. He carries in groceries, he loads and unloads the dishwasher, he sets the table, he vacuums, he cooks..... whatever I'm doing (or Lyle's doing), he wants in on the action. In a photo I have of him in the orphanage, when he was two years old, he appears to be helping in the baby room.

I get the impression that he earned his keep in the past. Having a child who knows how to work is a wonderful thing, but I hope he understands that he doesn't have to work......or at least he doesn't have to work all day long.

*The tantrums are still with us, but as his English is improving, the tantrums are subsiding. I feel like he understands us more often than not and he's spitting out English words faster than I can keep track. In China, I bought two seasons of "Dora". You thought she spoke Spanish, right? Not in China she doesn't. Our guide saw me at the checkout counter and said, "He doesn't need that. In three months you'll be e-mailing me and telling me he understands perfectly. You will see that I am right." I can already tell, she's right. And besides, Dora's English stinks.

*Food is mercifully not a big issue. It certainly was in China, but he's mellowed significantly since coming home. It's interesting that almost all of the newly adopted kids I saw in China were literally clinging to food and water. It's like they were thinking, "I don't know who these people are. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what anyone's saying. But I do know water, so I'll hold onto that."

*He's healthy as a horse. He had his first doctor appointment in Seattle and the doctor said to a resident who was observing, "I know I'm supposed to be showing you what a child raised in an orphanage looks like, but this is definitely not it!" He's in the 75th percentile in weight and just under the 50th percentile in height. His labs look great and there were no unwelcome surprises, which is a huge relief.

*He loves the dogs and they love him right back.

*The relationship with Cholita is evolving. Honestly, I'm more worried about her right now than him. We picked her up from school today and XiXi enthusiastically said, "How are you doing?" Nothing. He asked again, this time louder, "How are you doing?" And again, nothing. Finally, I asked Cholita to please respond. She made a face and said she didn't want to talk to him. She's really struggling with not being the baby anymore and it's sad to see. I know she'll come around and I do see moments that lead me to believe they'll be great friends. Yesterday they wanted to open a Gatoraide bottle that had just a little bit left in it. Cholita was trying without success to open the lid. XiXi pointed to himself and said in Mandarin, "Help?" Cholita relented and XiXi grunted and groaned trying to open that lid. Cholita cheered him on and he was so obviously determined to get it done. When his hands weren't doing the trick, he held it in his teeth and then Cholita tried turning it. Their dentist father would not have been pleased, but it was teamwork and I was thrilled. Eventually though, they said uncle and I opened it. There was so little left in the bottle and I told them they'd need to share. I first gave it to Cholita, having faith in her that she wouldn't gulp it all down in one swig. She didn't and she handed him the rest to finish. What he did next was so sweet. He took the lid, poured half of what was left into the lid for himself and then gave the rest to Cholita. She told him thank you and gave him a hug. I wished I'd videotaped it. I could play it back when their interactions are not so ideal.

It's late and bed is calling.

Next post....Bruder. Prom, track, a birthday, being awesome. So much to say.

Wooo-ahhhh!

2011-04-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

XiXi and Cholita were standing on the window sill in our hotel, looking down at the traffic. XiXi enthusiastically responded to each and every passing car--until he noticed the purple sunglasses Cholita was holding--a source of contention throughout the China trip. Looking at the video, I think Cholita wanted him to notice she had the sunglasses. That little stinker.

I'm so glad the Wooo-Ahhh noise was captured. He doesn't do it anymore. Sad.

Chinglish

2011-04-24T16:01:00.001-07:00

It's a unique language, that's for sure. Today at church XiXi said, "Wo yaow go see Lucy," a half Chinese/ half English sentence. He rarely chatters in Mandarin anymore, which is sad but expected. Most of his communication is made up of the few Mandarin words that we all know or a mix of Mandarin and English, or Charades, which he's great at. The other day one of the kids came to me and said, "XiXi told me that Cholita fell on her bike and got hurt?" I asked them how XiXi "told" them that. Well, he pantomimed riding a bike, then a crash, then crying. He threw in his sister's name and suddenly he had a story that made sense to the whole family. If you're ever picking teams for a game of Charades, pick XiXi. He rocks.

And I was there when Cholita fell and he ran to her saying in English, "Are you O.K.? Are you O.K?" He rarely adds single English words to his vocabulary; usually it's whole phrases and sentences. He opened the door yesterday morning, clicked his tongue at our big dog and said, "Out you go, Olaf!" Other phrases include:

*I need a' go potty.
*help please
*thank you Xie Xie, Ni. (with this one, he almost always says both the English and the Mandarin)
*Oh wow. Look a' dat! (usually the "dat" is a truck, which he also can say.)

*I love you.

He uses "Baba" less now and generally favors the word "Dad". Water is no longer "shway" and when he wants to eat he says he wants to eat, he doesn't "yaow chur". Still, even though I realize he is grasping the language at an amazing rate, I also know he's had to completely regress in his ability to communicate and it's so very frustrating for him. All research shows that the first language is lost much faster than the new language is gained. What he's left with is a frightening gap where he doesn't really have a language at all. Right now, he can muddle through both languages, but he won't be able to for long.

So, while we have it, we'll cherish the Lao Hu song:

And cheer on the emerging "I love you's":

I'm Rocking My Baby and Babies Don't Keep

2011-04-23T23:51:00.000-07:00

I once read an adoption book that said you need to calculate your newly adopted child's age not so much by their actual birthdate, but by how much time they've been home. By that estimation, I have a two week old, and two weeks olds need a whole lot of attention. He's had days that I would call easy and days that are tiring and taxing. On Wednesday he wanted me to hold him on the porch swing all day long. He wasn't interested in riding bikes with the kids. He didn't want to play in the sandbox. He didn't want to do anything but sit on Mom's lap with his legs and arms wrapped around her and his head on her chest. Two week olds need that sometimes. I tried to ignore the weeds that are crying out to be pulled and the sticky, messy kitchen floor that needs washing. In my head, I repeated the last lines of a poem I saw in my sister's nursery when I was a little girl:

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

I've got to put the time in now because he needs it now. The problem with this age calculation though is that most two week olds are not nearly as big as XiXi. My legs fall asleep and my arms get tired. And our former baby-of-the-family, our Cholita, is not very happy to see her mom's lap so frequently occupied. Today, she wanted me to look through her drawing notebook and pick out my favorite picture. I picked one that she'd drawn a couple of months ago, of her and her little brother standing in the grass with flowers all around and a bright sun in the sky. Between the fluffy clouds she'd written, "I love XiXi". I told her that picture was my favorite. She frowned and said, "I drew that before I met him." No, she's not entirely pleased with this big sister gig, but don't believe her that it's all drudgery. I catch her enjoying herself many times a day.

Riding the ferry boat with XiXi,

or getting a friendly arm to lean on while roller skating.

O.K., on closer inspection, he is wearing her purple heels again.

Those dang heels.

But he does manage to get stuff done, despite the impractical footwear.

Anyhow, moving on, XiXi has had so many "firsts" this past week that must be documented.

*His first gift for Mom. He sprinted out of his church Primary class waving a pink paper heart that he'd colored, yelling in Mandarin, "Gay ni duh! Gay ni duh, Mama!" (It's for you!) He was so very proud. I put the heart in my coat pocket and he's checked for it everyday. When Cholita dared touch the pink heart, he told her in no uncertain terms that HE gave me the heart, not HER and that it's for MOM! As I said, this relationship will be a work in progress.

*His first prayer. I should have taped it. Would that be sacrilegious?

*His first pizza. He gave it a big thumbs down. "Boo how chur." He did entertain us though by picking it up with his chopsticks, something that takes skill I think.

*His first cookout.

*And along with the cookout came his first hot dog. He wasn't so sure about that either. It feels wrong to tell a child, "Please, just try the pizza." or "Put down that carrot and eat your hot dog."

Despite not being too keen on it, he does like a good photo opportunity. And now that I look more closely at the picture below, maybe it was just bratwurst that he found objectionable.

I'd say he ate a good half of that hot dog....

assuming hot dogs have a good half.

*He spent his first night out in the tent, along with Dad and all of the siblings and the mammoth dog. Mom and the old, tired dog sought out more comfortable accommodations inside.

Although XiXi looked pretty comfy with Rose.

As much as his smile gets me every time, this look also does me in.

I call it the smolder.

At his first check-up since coming home, he was giving the doctor the smile-smolder one two punch

and she said, "Gee, it's too bad he's such a homely child."

We gave one of Lucy's friends a ride home this week and he said in Mandarin,

"She's pretty."

His affinity for the ladies, paired with the smolder, troubles me slightly.

But not as much as this.

I think it's the feathers.

Hopefully more tomorrow on XiXi's first Easter.

Playing Catch Up--Funny China

2011-04-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

It's been several years since I've had a child home all day long and I'd forgotten how tiring that can be. The laundry's piling up, the garden desperately needs weeding and I seriously doubt I'm going to be able to get to my book club selection for the month. But I do have several posts in my head that will quickly be forgotten if they're not written.

*My oldest turned 17 right after we got home from China. This is big and worthy of commemoration. He's a wonderful young man and we're so proud of him and I'll write about him soon.

*China is amazing. There's so much I didn't get a chance to say during our trip.

*Our little boy is a marvel. There are "firsts" that I've got to share.

*China is funny. I think I'll focus on that one today.

In the United States, we only have one aspiration for our kid's meals. Happy. They're happy meals. In China, they want a little more than just happiness for their children, hence the "Cute Smart Children Set", available for 48 RMB. It's pretty heavy on the meat if you ask me and I can't imagine many American children would be satisfied with their dessert of ice cream and red bean in sweet water, but when they see the adult alternative above, stewed veal knucklebone in wine sauce, the red bean in sweet water sounds pretty good.

I heard a saying in China that, "We'll eat anything with wings but an airplane and anything with legs but a table." I think I'd include anything that slithers, swims, buzzes or hops. One night in a buffet line with XiXi, I saw the chicken feet up ahead and silently chanted, "Please don't pick that. Please don't pick that." Mercifully he only had eyes for lotus root.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the "claw" machines available at most supermarkets and arcades, where a child with a gambler's heart and quarters to burn will attempt to nab a toy. Well, in China, they take it a step further. The "claw" is actually a scooper and instead of nabbing a stuffed animal, you're nabbing a live fish.

Would anyone really want to win? I suppose based on the quote above concerning food in China, your prize might be a tasty snack.

But don't think for a minute that this would be a one-stop meal. You need to get your liquid refreshment elsewhere. The fact that this is written in English tells me that they assume only foreigners would be dim enough to drink the fish water.

And only foreigners would think of dressing their children in only 2 layers of clothing on a mildly brisk March day. The kids in China are so bundled they look like Ralphie from the Christmas Story. If they fell, I doubt they could get up. This little one next to XiXi reminded me of a hobbit. If you lifted that brown blanket, you'd find a naked hiney. The split pants were something that Cholita just could not get over. If she'd only lived a few more months in China, she would have been a split-pants wearer herself, something that she just cannot accept on any level.

But I can see the utility of split pants and the freedom to go when and where you please, especially since using a bathroom in China might set you back a bit (no pun intended, really). You can see on the sign above Lyle and XiXi that the toilet charge for these particular potties was free. Not so with others. At Green Lake Park, XiXi was doing a major potty dance while the bathroom attendant tried to explain to Lyle that it was not a free ride. Leaving the bathroom, Lyle said it was the best 5 cents he'd ever spent.

More to say, but I must break up a scuffle over purple plastic dress-up heels. Does my Yi Man really want to wear those? Hopefully that's not a topic for another post.

I'm back. XiXi's in the purple heels. Cholita's in the pink. Don't even try to tell me that your family doesn't have issues. Anyway, another funny moment in China came due to my laptop's demise in Guangzhou. I was complaining to our guide one morning about the exorbitant price of internet usage in the business office when she said, "Oh, Eileen, I know what you should do. There's a family in our group in an Executive Suite. With the Executive Suite, you get to use Executive Lounge with free computer. You go 30th floor and be fine." She sat back and calmly drank her orange juice, satisfied that she'd solved my problem. "But," I said, "Since that family actually uses the Executive Lounge, won't they realize I'm not the same person?" She looked at me like I was crazy. "They will have no idea. All Americans look alike."

And you know what? She was right. And just to soothe my conscience on the matter, I spoke with our Executive Suite travel mate and told her I was hanging on her Executive coat tails and using her computer privileges. She didn't mind at all and said she was happy to help. Then one day, someone from the Executive Lounge brought her a jacket that "she'd" left while using the computer. I was thankful I'd had that little chat with her so she didn't say, "What? This is not my jacket and I've never used the Executive Lounge computer and you've obviously got an impostor on your hands who must be handled with all swiftness of Chinese law." Thankfully she just took the jacket and apologized for leaving it in the first place. Well, that would have all been fine and well except it wasn't my jacket either! Oh, what a tangled web we weave! The moral of this story is that honesty is the best policy.....................after free internet usage which is a policy that has its merits as well.

First Visit With Cousins

2011-04-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

The more things change......

2011-04-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

.........the more they remain the same.

The poor kid still can't score a boy's bike.

Checking In

2011-04-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

XiXi's great. Jet lag stinks. Mercifully, XiXi seems to have no circadian rhythm and when it was nighttime in Washington, he could have cared less that it was daytime in China. He slept like a rock.

We absolutely love having XiXi home. As we go about our normal everyday lives, I marvel to think that for 3 years, XiXi never went anywhere. Literally, the only time he ever left the orphanage was when he had surgery at 8 months. Even doctor appointments happened at the orphanage. In the life of a typical non-institutionalized child, they're going places usually on a daily basis--the grocery store, the dentist, the mall, the bank, play dates, church, parks. Even a trip down to the mailbox is something. XiXi didn't experience any of those things for over 3 years. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around that. When he moved to the foster village 6-8 months ago, I'm sure he was initially in stimulation overload; but I'm also sure that he embraced that new life with all of the zest and passion that he so clearly possesses. Still, the things he experienced in a village in the Chinese countryside are very different from the things he's experiencing here in the United States. As we drive around town, I steal glances at him in the rear view mirror and his eyes seriously never leave the window. He's drinking it all in.

I was at a stoplight when I took this picture, really.

He's also easily overwhelmed. As much as I'd love for him to flash his amazing smile to all of our friends and relations, I realize that his reticence is healthy in his process of assimilation. It would be much more worrisome if he indiscriminately went to anyone. He knows that he's with us and he's cautious with everyone else. Cholita was the same way the first couple of months home. Her eyes would glaze over, her mouth fall open, and sometimes she'd even drool. She completely checked out. XiXi gets teary and clingy.

To know how far he's come in his attachment to us, I have to only think about that Gotcha' moment. To him, I'm sure it had all the earmarks of an alien abduction. When Auntie let him leave the room and have that time to himself, she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't race down the stairs and into the street and she also knew he needed that moment. When he walked back into the room, back to the aliens, it was his decision and he did it on his own power. I pray we'll always live up to that amazing faith that he showed in us.

With Rose, his favorite person to act silly with.

I wasn't sure how long it would take me before I could revisit that Gotcha' moment. Last night, we went to our travel companion's blog. I clicked on their Gotcha' moment, not even thinking that of course, I'd hear poor XiXi in the background. Hopefully the Digsbys can add a nice loud soundtrack to their video someday to drown out the chaos going on a few feet away. You can "hear" it here: http://digsbyland.blogspot.com/2011/03/gotcha-day.html It's the first video clip. At some point, I'll have someone translate what he was saying. Part of me wants to know and part of me doesn't.

And speaking of speaking, we had a friend visit yesterday to talk to our XiXi. Judy helped me with Mandarin before both of our adoptions and was so kind to come for a XiXi playdate. After his snubbing of the strangers in the Beijing airport, I wasn't sure if he'd talk to her, but I'm so glad that he did. I certainly get a strong taste of his personality through his actions and expressions, but to understand what he's saying is such a gift. At one point, he was carrying a doll and Judy asked him if he was the daddy. He told her no, that he was the doctor. XiXi, MD. I can totally see it. I absolutely must get him on video speaking Mandarin. He won't be able to do this for long. Not long at all. A study done with internationally adopted children in XiXi's age range of 3-4 years said:

One of the most shocking discoveries in the field of international adoption is the swiftness with which children lose their native language and the profound nature of that loss. In a situation of full English immersion, it takes these children (3-4 year-olds) seven to twelve weeks to reduce their expressive language to a practically non-functional state. Their receptive language may stay four to six weeks longer, but it is barely functional even in familiar situations with the support of gestures, voice tone, and other non-linguistic means of communication.

I must get him on video and do it soon. The challenge is that he loves cameras. When a camera comes out, he can think of nothing else. The only video capabilities we have right now are with our plain old digital cameras. If anyone has any ideas on hidden surveillance, I'm all ears.

He won't always choose chopsticks over fork.

As he's losing his Mandarin, he's gaining English fast. This is a sampling of the things he can say with meaning:

*thank you
*please
*Ewww, yucky!
*hello
*bye bye
*Charlie
*Olaf
*shoes
*Look at that!
*nose
*potty
*careful
*Let's go!
*wash
*water
*wait
*one, two, three
*fish
*hot
and many, many more. And the things he can understand far surpass that. I just asked him if he wanted to go play the piano and he nodded, left the room, and is now plunking away.

The skill he most needs to work on right now is sharing. Feel free to ask Cholita about it. She has a lot to say on that matter. I think that in the orphanage and maybe in the foster village as well, it was survival of the fittest and I'm pretty sure that XiXi was the fittest. Even with the sharing though, it's coming along and he's doing better. His tantrums are decreasing and life is just so much easier at home as opposed to a hotel room. I know it will only get better. He has dished out nothing that makes me terribly worried.

His "firsts" are still so fun to watch. In his 4 days at home, he's seen and experienced:
*picking up siblings at the school bus stop
*Home Depot
*a construction site (very appreciated by XiXi)
*petting the horses next door
*big dogs running to greet him
*pulling weeds
*helping Dad make dinner
*bath time with Xiao Jie Jie

*storytime
*Sitting in the seat of our neighbor's tractor
*vacuuming (he thinks it's great fun)

You'll have to trust me on that. He just thinks Mom taking pictures is getting old.

*Nerf guns
*Family Home Evening
*Church

I will never forget XiXi's first hymn. He stood on my lap and so closely watched the chorister. Then he looked at the organ. Then he looked at the people holding hymn books. Then he grabbed himself a hymn book, opened it, looked at the gibberish on the page, and my boy tried to sing! Forevermore, when I hear "Joseph Smith's First Prayer", I'll think of our sweet XiXi. When we pulled into our driveway after church, he said in Mandarin, "We're home!" Music to my ears.

Life with 5 children is busy. This post has taken me all day to write.

Signing off.

But not without sharing one more photo. In China, XiXi decided he'd mix things up a bit in the clothing department.

Home

2011-04-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

We are so thrilled to be back in our comfortable, familiar home. It's not exactly familiar or comfortable yet for XiXi, but he does at least find it interesting. When he hasn't been running away from the dogs, he's been exploring.

Before I go on, I need to send a sincere thank you to my dear friend, Jen, who posted to our blog for me everyday while we were in China. I actually wasn't able to see our blog (Blogger is blocked in China), so it was so fun today to look back over all that we've experienced in the past two weeks. It's unfortunate that my laptop wasn't working during the last half of our trip because I had some great photos to share but the computer at the business center was taking too long to upload.

So, I'll start with yesterday. Again, it was a day of highs and lows. XiXi had a long period of sadness and I finally took him downstairs to our guide's hotel room. I wanted her to ask him if he was feeling sick. She knelt down and asked him a series of questions, all of which he responded to with head shakes. No, he wasn't sick, he wasn't tired, he wasn't even hungry. Then she asked him a question that made him pause for a long time and his eyes overflowed with tears. I asked her what it was that she'd asked him. She told me that she'd asked him if he was missing home. Then, my eyes filled with tears. Our guide scolded me that I should not cry in front of him because he has a tender heart and will worry. Then she told XiXi that my tummy was hurting and that's why I looked like I was going to cry. As much as I'd like to believe that adoption is all rainbows and butterflies, I know that it's not. He felt love in the orphanage and he certainly felt love in the foster village. Those places were home to him, temporary homes, but homes still the same. I can't expect him to not miss all that he's leaving behind.

We said goodbye to "Ayi" Rebecca at the airport. She's been doing adoptions for something like 14 years and she's like the Baby Whisperer. It was so wonderful having her with us: translating, soothing, and filling in the communication gaps. XiXi loved her. I wanted to bring her with us, even if it was only for the 18 hours of travel that lay ahead of us.

On our flight from Guangzhou to Beijing, our seats were all in different rows. I just put XiXi next to me, hoping that maybe it wasn't a full flight and that we'd be fine. An older man walked down the aisle, saw XiXi in his seat, and had some words with the flight attendant. She told me that the man would not go to another seat and that he wanted XiXi to move. I explained that I had to sit with him and she said, "You will be close enough; it will be fine." I told her that three rows back was not acceptable, that he was newly adopted and that he was very attached to me and would scream the entire flight if I didn't sit next to him. The man just crossed his arms and jutted out his chin and exchanged some heated words with the stewardess once again, evidently saying that he would not give up his seat. Looking back on it, what I should have done was said, "Fine. Take your precious seat and I'll put my three year-old son next to you. Enjoy your flight." We'd had a 4:30 AM wake-up call and I was not about to be trifled with. Finally, two men who were seated on Rose's row (and she was feeling teary too, not necessarily wanting to be squished between these two strangers), said that they'd move to wherever they needed to so that the three of us could sit together. I gave them both very sincere "Xie Xie Ni's" and may have given a not-so-nice glance to the man who shoved past us to get to his seat.

XiXi did great on that flight, fantastic during the 5 hours at the Beijing airport, and amazingly well on the 10+ hour flight home. He complained of a sore tummy a couple of times and pointed to his ears, saying that they hurt. We're doing a much better job lately of communicating without words. It was interesting in the Beijing airport, because several people were interested in why were with this Chinese boy and wanted to talk to him. He generally acknowledged them with nods or shakes of the head, but he wouldn't really respond to their questions. One woman even asked me if he knew how to talk. I've already seen a steady decrease in his language just since we met him. Well, that's not entirely true. He goes back and forth. The other day I was with him at the koi pond outside of our hotel and asked him in Mandarin if he could say the word "fish". He said back in Mandarin, "No, I don't want to say "fish". I want to say "yu"." But overall, I hear him speaking less and less in Mandarin both to us (probably because he knows that we can understand so little) and to other people around him. It's sad, but expected. He's said full sentences in English (mostly just mimicking), but some with meaning. He told Rose yesterday, "You're too funny," and I had to literally ask who said that. It sounded so perfect, without even a hint of an accent, that I didn't think it could possibly be XiXi. Rose had just said that to him, so he was copying her, but he's said it several more times and in the right context. Also on the plane he repeated many times, "Going to see Baba! Going to see Baba!" Again, he'd heard us say it, but he seemed to know what it meant.

We got to the U.S. and then went through immigration. "Welcome to the United States," the man said to XiXi. "Nihao!" said XiXi. Then the man said goodbye to him in Mandarin and XiXi said goodbye back to him in English. I haven't really done any formal "teaching" with him, but I can tell he'll learn very, very quickly.

Lyle was very busy while we've been gone. He wanted to surprise us with some finished projects and has admitted that he hasn't slept much. I'll post photos tomorrow. For now, I'm off to sleep, hopefully for the whole night. We're praying for the same for our other travelers, especially XiXi. He's a wonderful boy, a boy who is certainly going through a very trying time, but his resilient spirit shines through. We're so thankful to have him in our family.

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times

2011-04-06T09:20:00.001-07:00

XiXi has had a great afternoon and evening. We went on the Pearl River Dinner Cruise and he was so very excited to get on the boat. His father will be proud to know that this little boy prefers vegetables to all else. With the exception of the duck feast in Kunming, he's had hardly any meat at all since we've known him. Not surprisingly, he likes rice and he likes noodles, but he loves vegetables and fruits. He can eat his weight in bok choy. It's interesting to go through a buffet line with him. Tonight he pointed to something that was covered with holes like swiss cheese, but almost looked like a slice of lunch meat. Whatever it was, he seemed very familiar with it and wanted it on his plate. Our guide said it was a lotus root and he happily scarfed it down.

He loved going out on the deck of the boat and when he went outside, he motioned that he wanted a jacket on. We're all getting very good at charades. We got lots of "wooo-ahhhh's" from him as he marveled at the lights of Guangzhou. He was completely captivated whenever we went under a bridge. It's so fun to see him experience these new things. Tomorrow we go to the zoo and I know he'll love it.

He's called a few of the older girls in our group "Jie Jie" and I kind of worried that he was confused about who his sisters were. Thankfully our guide explained to me that in China, older kids and young adults are always just generically called "Jie Jie" or "Gu Gu". She then asked XiXi if she was a Jie Jie and he shook his head and told her that she's not a Jie Jie, but an Ayi (aunt). She laughed and said she should be offended that she no longer looks young enough to be a big sister; she's graduated to auntie.

We took our oath today at our consulate appointment. I say "we" because when the adults were asked to raise their right arms to take the oath for their children, XiXi raised his arm too. I got a little lump in my throat, knowing that this was our final task in the long process to bring him home. He was so well behaved while we were there and just quietly sat on my lap as we waited for his name to be called. We were told that roughly 73% of the China adoptions done so far in 2011 have been special needs. The wait for a "healthy" child has become ridiculously long and projected to get longer, so I expect that the percentage of special needs adoptions will just get bigger. I think that's absolutely for the best. When we asked at XiXi's orphanage if Chinese people ever adopt, we were told that they do, but it's always healthy infants. There just isn't the strong need for healthy child infant adoption that there was in the past. There's still absolutely a need for special needs and older child adoptions.

XiXi had a great time playing with Rose this afternoon and he entertained us with his Chinese soldier impression. He saluted and then did the funniest straight-legged march. He tried to keep an appropriately serious face as he marched past us, but he just couldn't handle that. He cracks himself up frequently. I can envision future parent-teacher conferences....."We love XiXi, but he is the class clown."

So, all of those things were the "best" of our day. The "worst" came this morning after our consulate appointment in the the form of the biggest tantrum we've seen yet. I'd carried him for a very long time, his preferred mode of transport. Once we got to our hotel lobby, I set him down to walk and he was not pleased. I need to learn how to say, "Mommy's arms need a break," but today I was just using charades to show that he was too heavy and mom's arms were tired. He laid down on the lobby floor and just lost it. Tantrums are especially fun when there's a crowd, especially a crowd of people who don't speak your language and you feel sure they're probably saying, "Look at the horrible American mother." Anyway, I got him up and moving, albeit slowly and beligerantly to the elevator. Back in our room, he screamed and kicked and hit and at one point picked up a chair and threw it an impressive distance. I tried to remain calm, but firm. Slowly, the tantrum subsided and he let me wipe away his tears and give him hugs. I told him that I understood and that I was so sorry that he was sad. He seemed tired, so I laid him down on the couch for a nap and then I went into the bedroom so I could have a mini melt-down as well. I called Lyle on the phone because I really needed a familiar voice. As I was talking to him, XiXi quietly came into the room, carrying a handful of tissues. I absolutely did not want him to see me crying, but he pulled himself up on my lap, wiped my tears with one hand and rubbed my back with the other. "May yo guan xi, MaMa" he said. "It's O.K." He has such a tender heart. I know that he's frustrated and that he's grieving all that's changed in his life--which is basically everything. I'm sure that I'd want to throw some furniture too.

Our guide asked him afterward if he was feeling mad and he said no. She asked him if he was feeling sad and he said no. He told her that he got upset because he wanted something else to eat. She gave him a banana and he was happy as a clam. She told him that I can understand him when he says he wants to "chur" and that he needs to tell me. Later in the day, he whispered in my ear, "Mama, wo sheong chur dong xi." (I want to eat something.) We went and got him a yogurt and he was one happy child.

He was so sweet tonight when we were putting him to bed. When we all knelt down for prayers, he kept reminding me of people I needed to mention. "Da Jie Jie, Rose, Xiao Jie Jie, GuGu, Baba...." and the girls had a hard time keeping a reverant attitude as his cute little voice would yell out another person's name. We said Amen and then he realized that he forgot someone. "Mama!" he said and we had to do a quick mini-prayer to ask for a blessing for Mama.

We so love this boy.

Homesick

2011-04-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

And that's just me and the girls. I can only imagine what poor XiXi is feeling right now. Still, even with all that will be new for him once we get home, I think in many ways it will be easier. Living out of a hotel room is difficult for anyone, especially a 3 year-old boy.

He had a great day yesterday and a very rough day today. His tummy has been hurting and he's complained of "dudzuh", which I was quick to learn was diarrhea. The poor boy has been eating unfamiliar foods and add that to the stress that I know he's feeling and I'm sure his tummy has been upset. Even with the upset tummy, he's given us lots of great smiles and laughs and hugs. But he's also had several tantrums and long periods of grouchiness. All of that seems very normal under the circumstances, so I'm not terrbily worried; I'm just really tired.

XiXi seems to have really connected to me now, whereas before his number one choice was Da Jie Jie. That's great, but he frequently wants me to carry him and 40 pounds is quite a load. I carried him all over the hotel gardens today, but for longer trips, I just can't do it and he's got to ride in the stroller. He's also seeking my approval more and more, which I consider a big step in the right direction. For example, in the tub the other night, he poured a whole bottle of bath salts into the water and I told him that was too much. Tonight, each time he wanted to add some salts to the tub, he'd say, "Ma!" and then put his cute chubby fingers close together and say in English, "little?" I'd tell him yes and thank him for asking and then he'd put in just the tiniest amount. He also points and asks "Ma?" when he wants more food. Food will be an issue, I can already see that. We need to make sure at each meal that he sees which food belongs to which person. Otherwise, he thinks it's all his and that's what's caused our biggest tantrums. We also need to keep a bottle of water with him at all times. The "shway" is like the security blanket that his photo books were on his first day. Thankfully that's easy enough to do. Cholita had issues with food when she first came home as well, so we've been there and done that and this too shall pass.

The majority of our other issues have been language-related. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to be plopped into an enviroment where you don't understand the people around you. He's doing more and more actions now to show us what he means, and that's helped. We're also learning more of his Mandarin phrases and he's understanding more of our English. When we get home, I'm anxious to teach him more sign language because I think that will help a great deal. I taught him the sign for fish and he now asks to go see the koi downstairs by doing the fish sign. Along with the sign, he does a truly adorable fish face. He still likes to tell the egg story and it still makes us laugh.

Before we came to China, one of my biggest worries was that XiXi would be a hard child to connect with and that I'd struggle with bonding, which would in turn make bonding a struggle for him. With a nearly-four year-old child I knew there would be issues, but I also knew that if I felt bonded to him that we'd be able to deal with those issues. I'm so thankful to say that XiXi is a very easy child to love. And because we love him, I know that we can help him through the struggles that he'll have as he adjusts to his new life.

I'm just ready to get him home.

One Week with XiXi

2011-04-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

Can you believe we've had XiXi in our family for one whole week? In some ways it seems longer, in some ways shorter. I already look at his Gotcha' Day pictures and see a different child. His passport picture, taken right after we met him, is so serious and sad-looking. That's not to say that he doesn't feel the sadness of all that has changed in his life in the past week (and two weeks since he left foster care), because I'm sure that he does, but he seems much more comfortable and confident with us. I can see that we're making great strides in becoming a family.

It's also a privilege to see other children in our group too, growing more comfortable in their new lives. We have some seriously cute babies that we get to spend our days with. Their adorable baby ways make me think back nearly 5 years ago to the adoption of our sweet Cholita. Oh, how we loved that baby. Back then, she was the youngest child in our travel group. This time, we have the second oldest. Although XiXi isn't what I'd consider an "older child" adoption, he's most definitely not a baby. Over the past few days, I've been thinking about what I consider to be the pros and cons of non-infant adoption.

Con: An older child needs to eat a whole lot more than congee.
Pro: An older child can order your meal in Mandarin. (Last night XiXi told our guide, "I don't think I want any meat tonight, just a little rice." Our guide told him, "I've seen you eat, and I don't believe you, XiXi." When the food came, he was true to his word and didn't eat a single bite of meat. Even when the plate of sliced pork was passed to him, he only used his chopstickes to grab the lettuce which was used as a garnish. Watching his weight perhaps?)

Con: There are no squeaky shoes in older child sizes.
Pro: There are no squeaky shoes in older child sizes.

Con: An older child might not willingly pose with all of the statues on Shamian Island.
Pro: An older child might tweak the noses of the statues on Shamian Island.

Con: An infant does not know that the popular TV show "Pleasant Goat" even exists and a parent might completely miss out on that cultural education.

Pro: An older child not only knows about "Pleasant Goat" but will sing you the theme song. Frequently. (Nevermind, that's not a positive)

Con: With an infant, their bathroom regiment is limited to diapers. With an older child, when you're out and about, you need to know the location of nearby squatty potties.

Pro: You don't need diapers and an older child can handle those things on their own.
Con: An older child might handle those things so well on their own that they might (hypothetically, of course) tell their mother that they need to use the bathroom right when their mother is in the middle of an ATM transaction and unable to respond to their "shaow shway" request and an older child might just take matters into their own hands and may possibly exit the bank and pull down their pants and "shaow shway" right into the metal sidewalk grate. It could happen.

Con: English language learning with an older child is a more deliberate process.
Pro: An older child can whisper in your ear about 20 times a day, "Wo ai ni, Mommy." And they might even point to themselves and say, "Good boy" in English. That might make you very happy.

Con: With an infant, thier mobility is limited; with an older child, be ready for a workout.
Pro: It's cheaper than a gym membership. And as an added bonus, with an older child, when your cheapy stroller's wheels get all skeewampus, they can reach down and get them straightened for you all by themselves.

Con: An infant probably wouldn't challenge the cheapy stroller's weight capacity in the first place and your wheels might be completely fine, making the stroller issue a wash.

Con: An infant could care less about their parent's personal care regiment.
Pro: An older child might insist on styling their mother's hair for them.
Con: A mother might look rather wind-blown for the rest of the day.

Con: A bigger child might mean bigger melt-downs.

Pro: A bigger child might mean bigger hugs.
We're all learning and growing and we love our truly amazing XiXi.

Bathing Beauty

2011-04-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today XiXi picked out sandals at the store. I get the impression that sandals have been his footwear of choice in the past!

Part Two

2011-04-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

Making Memories
An unfortunate incident for XiXi this morning has turned into one of our very first shared stories. I consider it a first because it's the only one we've been able to retell to each other with mutual understanding. And isn't the retelling of the story the whole point? At breakfast this morning, I was helping XiXi to fill his plate. While I was loading him up with fruit, he grabbed himself an egg from a basket of eggs on the counter. He's had hard -boiled eggs before, so I was fine with his choice. As we were making our way back to our table, he must have squeezed the egg because it burst open and raw egg splattered all over him--on his shirt (his last clean one), shorts (ditto), down his legs, and into his socks. He was completely shocked, as was I. Who puts raw eggs on a counter at a breakfast buffet?

Several workers ran to assist him and we got him all cleaned up. Back in the room, he acted out the whole story for his sisters, jabbering in Mandarin and laughing hysterically. With actions and facial expressions, we've been able to tell him the story too, of course in English, as we all share a good laugh. I can't adequately explain how much that one silly story has meant to us. We're communicating!

I may come home with an accent
We've met up with several families who will now be part of our group for the remainder of our trip. This morning on the bus, Rebecca passed around a microphone and asked everyone to introduce themselves and their child and tell the others where they're from. We're the only ones without a Southern drawl. When I introduced us, I passed the microphone to XiXi and he gave everyone a hearty "NiHao!" He's such a loveable boy, a little rough around the edges certainly, but so very loveable.

There are 3 girls and 3 boys in our group, all special needs adoptions. All but one family already had children, more than one with 5 children. XiXi is the second oldest in the group after a five year-old girl. The others are toddlers and babies. The resiliancy of these kids never ceases to amaze me. They all seem to be bonding well to their families and are doing great.

On the bus, Rebecca told us about our plans for the day--Shamian Island and the medical exam. She said, "The children will get weighed.....XiXi, I saw you eat breakfast and you should be nervous." I can't imagine he had a clue what she said, but hearing his name, he laughed and everyone laughed with him. How could you not?

At the medical exam, we had the same doctor who examined Cholita nearly 5 years ago. The number of kids this man has seen must be staggering. XiXi was perfectly behaved and you could tell that he was used to doctors. They did the extremely cursory ear and eye exams--plunk a key on a toy piano, (Yes! He hears!), and wave a toy in front of him, (Yes! He sees!). The doctor also felt XiXi's face where he's had his surgery and said, "Very good." He talked with XiXi quite a bit and pointed to each of us and asked who we were. XiXi said I was his mom and that those were his sisters. Then the doctor asked him if he could take him home to his house and XiXi emphatically said no and told him that he would go with his mom. The doctor, who always seemed so serious, then had a little tickle session with XiXi. As we left, he patted me on the back and said, "Great boy!"

From the doctor's room we went for the weigh in, XiXi's moment of truth. He stepped proudly onto the scale and a nurse wrote down a number. Then our guide walked in and looked at the paper and said, "That can't be right." The nurses had a little conversation, pointing at XiXi and pointing at the number and saying, "san sway" (three years old). Then they put him back on the scale and had our guide come look and said something like, "See, we were right." Our 3 year-old is closing in on 40 pounds. I'm getting a serious work-out in China.

From there, it was off to the TB test. Lily sat with XiXi and told him that it was going to hurt, but that it would be quick. XiXi put his arm out like an old pro, sat still as can be, and then burst into sobs when it was done. Lily gave him a piece of candy and he walked around sniffling, with his injured arm held straight out for everyone to see.

While we were at the clinic, we saw two beautiful girls of about age 13, who were clearly identical twins. The strange thing was, one looked so American while the other looked Chinese. (It was like the observation an English-speaking Chinese man made a couple of days ago in Kunming. "He (pointing to XiXi) is Chinese, but she (pointing to Cholita), is not." Lucy said that no, Cholita was Chinese too. "Yes," he said, "but you can tell that she's a Chinese foreigner." ) Anways, with these two indentical girls, even wearing matching outfits, one looked American and the other Chinese. Lily spoke to the parents and later shared their story. They'd adopted one of the twins ten years ago at the age of 3. From very early on, she told her parents that she had a sister in China, but they just assumed that she meant an orphanage "sister". As the years went buy, she became more adamant that she had a twin and that she'd been left behind in China. The family, still telling her that she did not have a twin, happened to send some updated photos recently to the orphanage. The orphanage workers who saw the photos were shocked and unsure of what do, sent a message to the CCAA. "A family a sent pictures of their daughter and it's the exact image of a girl, the same age, in our orphanage." The CCAA then contacted the family and told them that they had reason to believe their daughter had a twin. The two had been abandonded at different ages and in different locations and so the orphanage workers never put the two together, but there was no doubt that they were twins. As soons as the family could, they flew to China to adopt the twin sister that their daughter always insisted she had. It was truly amazing to see those sweet sisters together.

Healthy Body Image
XiXi has no qualms about being naked. None at all. When he was done swimming today, he let us know by getting out of the pool and pulling off his trunks. He strutted over to us naked as a jaybird.

Our hotel has a huge window that goes from the bedroom staight into the shower. There's a remote controlled screedn that you can lower for privacy, but XiXi is quite fond of remotes. It's more than a little unnerving to have him pointing and laughing and I'm thankful sometimes that I don't have a translator.

XiXi has the cutest farmer's tan and I'd love to share some photos, if I can figure it out here on the business office computer.

He's a great kid
He really is. We've had frustrating moments and I have no doubt that we'll have many more in the future, but he just has such a spark to him. I hope that spark comes through in the photos. When I think of all that's changed in his life in the past 5 days, I can't believe how well he's done. Tonight at dinner, he was getting frustrated about something and started to melt down. I picked him up and took him out of the restaurant. He was not at all happy about that and immediately pulled himself together. When we went back in, I asked one of the waiters to tell him in Mandarin that if he screamed, I'd have to take him from the restaurant. He told him, and then XiXi started to cry. It was a different cry than I've ever heard from him--just a very sad, quiet cry and he said, "Dwo boo chee." (I'm sorry). I rubbed his sweet face and he hugged me for a long time. He really is trying so hard. We're also trying--trying to establish rules, but also trying to be understanding. Tonight as I was putting him to bed he said, "Wo ai ni, Mama." (I love you). We love him too. There's something so very special about XiXi.

Zai Jian, Kunming/ Ni Hao Guangzhou (part one)

2011-04-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

We are ensconced in the lap of luxury. XiXi wasn't the only one letting a stunned "Woooo-Ahhhh" when we walked through the doors of the Garden Hotel last night. Opulent is the word that comes to mind. He is going to be seriously disappointed in his digs at home. When we arrived at the airport, I was so happy to see our guide Rebecca, from Cholita's adoption trip. It's always nice to see a familiar face, but when you arrive in a foreign city without your husband and toting a tired and overly-worked-up Yi man that you've only known for 4 days and who doesn't speak your language, I swear, I saw her face and heard the Hallelujah chorus.

Lyle, Bruder, and Cholita left yesterday morning for home and the rest of us started our day with the usual breakfast buffet and a trip to Green Lake Park. When we came back to the hotel the phone rang and XiXi ran to answer it, "Hway?" he said. I pulled it away from him and he looked seriously ticked. He was pretty sure the call was for him. It was our guide, "Eileen, we have very big problem," she said. Apparently in the chaos of Gotcha' Day, I hadn't noticed that a zero was left off my passport number and Lyle's as well. Actually, I think I did notice, but since it was the first number and they did that with both of our passports, I just thought that leaving off the zeros was what they were supposed to do. I thought wrong. "You cannot take baby out of China," Helen said. "This big problem. I go many offices. You pay lots of money." It wasn't what I wanted to hear on our travel day, but after many offices and lots of money, it was all resolved.

My computer isn't working so I'm in the business center, trying to type as fast as I can to save yuan. There's so much I want to say and pictures I want to share, but I'm running short on yuan, so I'll do my best. Ignore typos please.

Fei Ji La!
XiXi was so very excited about the airplane trip. He told many people, "Wo men yao zuo fei ji la!" (We're going on an airplane!) He plastered his body against the window at the airport and pushed more than one person jockeying for the best "fei ji la" viewing location. I think one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed was XiXi being frisked by security. You'd think the kid was an experienced international traveler the way he jumped up on the platform and spread eagled it for a thorough pat-down. He loved wearing his backpack and pulling his rolling bag through the airport. He really is so good. When it was time to get on our plane, I was happy to see that we weren't using an accordion walkway but climbing stairs directly onto the plane. He could hardly stand the excitement. He got on and promptly made himself comfortable in the first class section and wasn't too please to go to the very last row of the plane. Every time we passed an available seat, he tried to get comfy, but we'd have to move him. Once we go to our row, we made sure to give him a window seat. I use the word "seat" very loosely because he felt he had better viewing while standing. We gestured that he needed to sit down and put his seatbelt on and he told us something in Mandarin that we're sure meant, "Are you kidding? And miss the view? I don't think so." The steward then walked by and had a word with him and XiXi promptly sat down and put his seatbelt on. Maybe it was the uniform. Anyway, for all of the rest of my days, even when I'm old and senile, I'll remember XiXi's face at takeoff. He just lit up. He was so very excited. He really did a fantastic job on the plane. Afterward I asked him if he liked it and he gave an enthusiastic nod. I'm still not looking forward to the plane ride home. I don't think he has any clue whatsoever just how much Fei ji la he's going to have in the near future.

Frustrated
Poor XiXi. While I think he was somewhat amused by our language at the beginning, the language honeymoon has ended. With translation from guides, I've learned more of what he's saying to us and so often it's just normal, everyday requests or questions that I'd love to answer for him, but I can't and he gets frustrated. Who wouldn't? For example, he might drop his sticker on the ground as we're out for a walk and he might say in a very mannerly voice, "Mom, I dropped my sticker. Can I please go back and get it?" I don't know what he's saying, so I might just respond with a "Oh, really?" and we keep walking. He says louder, "Hey MOM! I want to go get that!" I still don't know what he's saying, but I can tell he's getting upset so maybe I'll offer him a drink. He'll violently shake his head no and try to pull me the other way. I might tell him that we're going to lunch and not back to the hotel. And then he'll throw a mini-fit and run to get his sticker. "Oh, is that what you wanted?" If I knew what he was saying I could have avoided the whole thing.

This morning at breakfast, Rebecca and Lily (our agency's China representative) had a long conversation with him. They said that he has a strong Yunnan dialect, but that they can understand him. Lily told him that when he wants more to drink, he can show me his empty cup and that when he wants more food he can pretend like he's eating. They've been through this a time or two and said he's doing fantastic. I know that's true, but it's tough to see him frustrated.

Hyper-vigilant Parenting
Do you know how it gets exhausting to watch other people's kids? I don't think it's because other people's kids are any weirder than my own, it's just that I'm accustomed to my own kid's brand of weirdness. I'm still figuring out XiXi's brand of weirdness and as I figure that out, I'm overly cautious and it's ticking him off. He really is VERY self-sufficient. I cut his omelet this morning and he nearly fell apart. I took that one and gave him mine and he expertly cut it. At the Stone Forest, I'd let Cholita wander away from us a bit because I knew she wouldn't go far, but I kept him on a short tether because I don't know yet if he's the kind of kid who will bolt. Last night at the airport, he was fascinated by the baggage carousel and really wanted to help get the bags off. I wasn't sure if he'd get hurt, so I didn't let him and he pouted. When he saw the stroller coming, I figured that was light enough that he'd be fine and he went a got it off the carousel, unfolded it, snapped it open, and looked as proud as a peacock. When he was playing with a baby in our group, I kind of hovered because I don't know for sure if he'll be gentle. He was perfectly gentle, but again, these are things I'm learning. And while I'm kind of testing him out, he's doing the same with us. We're mutually dipping our toes into uncharted waters. It's exciting, but also tiring.

So much more to say, but I've got to run to a meeting........

Last Full Day in Kunming

2011-03-31T11:23:00.000-07:00

Did anyone happen to catch "The Amazing Race" last week? If you did, you saw where we were today--the Stone Forest. We completely enjoyed the 5 hour round trip, marveling at the tiny hillside villages and terraced fields. With each of our adoption trips we've been able to get out of the city and see a totally different side of China.

Today Lyle made major progress on the XiXi front and was able to hold his hand and even carry him. My back is so very thankful.

XiXi marveled at everything. I can't adequately describe his "wow" noise. It's an adorably high-pitched "Woooo-aaahhh" sound that makes everyone around him smile.

He's a good little walker and Lyle mentioned more than once today how excited he is to take this little man camping.

XiXi spoke more to our guide today than he has on any other day. She said that he speaks well and "knows very much". With us, XiXi has taken to saying something once in his normal voice and then repeating it in progressively louder voice. I know it's got to be so terribly frustrating for him. Yesterday at the minority village, XiXi saw some chickens and he squatted down, clicked his tongue at them, and put his hand out like he was going to feed them. He told our guide that he had chickens at his last home. I wish so much that I could really converse with him. I was almost tempted to have our guide ask him how he felt about his new family, but I thought that it would be an unfair question and not respectful of the foster family who clearly loved him so much. Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear his answer.

I did ask Helen to find out his favorite foods. He said, "duck and tomatoes fried with egg." We went to a local restaurant outside of a Yi village and our guide ordered his favorites. His eyes lit up and he let out a "Wooo-aaahhh" when he saw the food.

Rose couldn't even look at it, which of course prompted to Cholita to continually turn the Lazy Susan so that the duck was always staring at Rose. It made her think of the duck who didn't want to be dinner on the movie Babe. "Christmas means carnage."

Frankly, XiXi eating duck means carnage. Holy chur, it was messy. When we left the restaurant, his place looked like some kind of gruesome crime scene--bones and gristle all over the place. The funny thing is, XiXi can't abide by so much as a crumb of bread on his chair and will stand up until someone wipes it off. Lyle was like, "Kiddo, have you taken a look in front of you? Cause it's ugly."

After lunch, we went to his finding location. The translation I had done in the U.S. said that it was "a body building place" in Biji Square. Then our guide said that it was "a health facility" in Biji Square. With the first, I pictured kind of a Chinese version of Gold's Gym and with the other, I pictured a doctor's office. When we got there, I realized neither one was exactly right, but I could see what they were getting at. It was the exercise portion of a large, busy square.

Our guide said it was in a very nice part of town. People of all ages were using the equipment and men sat at tables playing cards. Mothers doted on their children and grandmas sat together knitting and talking. We spent a long time there, with the kids running and playing. XiXi was so proud of himself when reached the top of this climbing structure.

It was the sunniest weather we've had during our whole trip and as much as I tried to attach a more somber feeling to the place, I just felt peace and happiness. Peace that his birth mother wanted him found quickly and took him to a place where that would happen and happiness that we have been blessed with this remarkable little boy.

Kunming Day 3--Our Yi Man

2011-03-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

I'm by no means an expert on China, but it seems to me to be a kind of hobby here to look at a person and guess their ethnic heritage. With Cholita, we had some people who assigned a minority to her, but most said, "She is 'Han', original Chinese." Of course we'll never know, but I've always tended to agree with the Han theory because to me she looks so classically Chinese. Walking through the streets of Kunming, I see so much variety in appearance. In the United States, Americans feel like all Chinese people look alike, but having been to China, I know that's very far from the truth. The Yunnan province is known for its ethnic diversity and you can absolutely see that in the faces and builds of the people here in Kunming. We've spent lots of time in the beautiful Green Lake Park and love people-watching. There is a very wide range of skin tones, body builds, hair texture, and even hair color---who would have guessed that black could have so many different shades?

While there was some debate in China about Cholita's ethnic origins, there seems to be no debate about XiXi. I've heard more than one passerby point to him and say, "Yi". Our guide, Helen, said that he is clearly from the Yi group. She said that she knew this for three reasons: First, he was found in an area highly populated by the Yi people. Second, his skin is dark like the Yi, and third (and my personal favorite), she said, "All Yi men are known for their great physical strength. Always very very strong."

Since hearing this, when Lyle and I make observations of XiXi, we tend to end it with a deep-voiced, "I am a Yi man." For example, he was such a little tough guy on the rides this morning in Green Lake Park. Although I didn't get it on film, he sometimes did the "look, Ma, no hands" bit. While that might scare other children, certainly not XiXi, because, "I am a Yi Man."

We went today and toured a huge theme-park type place that highlighted the different minorities of the Yunnan Province. We learned that the "totem" of the Yi people is the tiger. What's funny is that XiXi has mentioned "lao hu's" more than once and likes to give us a hearty roar.

He was fascinated by this "Da lao hu" and pretended that he was being eaten when he walked inside. When he sees a picture of a lao hu, he sticks his finger on its mouth, pulls it away and says, "Owwww!" Also in the Yi village, there were swings that were so tall that you could get to seriously terrifying heights. Despite his Yi man bravado, he only wanted to go on it with Da Jie Jie.

After we left the minority villages, I looked back at our post from yesterday. The orphanage visit was emotionally draining and I didn't adequately give thanks for the great blessing it was to so palpably feel the love that the workers there had for our XiXi. When we adopted Cholita, although she was in over-all good health, she had some behaviors that clearly suggested neglect. When we toured her orphanage, it was clear that while she was there she'd had very little human contact. I haven't sensed for a moment that our XiXi has been neglected. On the contrary, walking through the orphanage with him, I felt like I was with a rock star. Nannies were literally hanging out of windows, waving and calling his name. They were blowing him kisses and despite his Yi Manliness, he blew kisses back. When he first got off of the bus yesterday, he literally ran into a teacher's arms (I mistakenly called her a nanny, but have since learned that the women in the flowered smocks were teachers, while the ones in the light pink smocks were "workers", or nannies). I can't adequately describe my mix of feelings at that moment of reunion between XiXi and a beloved teacher--relief that he wasn't scared or traumatized by being back at the orphanage, envy at hearing the long conversation they were having, guilt that we were taking him away from that, fear that he wouldn't want to leave with us, sadness for these dear women who so obviously adored him and would miss him, and a very healthy dose of joy, knowing that he'd been so loved. And of course, even Yi men need love.

For the past nearly nine months, I've read and re-read every detail these women had written about XiXi. It was all glowingly positive, but I tried to take it all with a grain of salt, knowing that the nannies will always emphasize and maybe exaggerate the positives and down-play or not even mention the negatives. Knowing XiXi for only 2 full days, I can honestly say that his paperwork was written by someone who knew him very well and that it accurately descibes him. They said:

"He is curious of the unseen thing."

They actually mentioned the word curious more than once. It is so very true. This is a blessing and can also be a challenge. He loves electronic devices--computers, remote controls, I-Pods, cameras, etc. He wants to touch and explore. At the Yunnan Embroidery and Antique Museum, I got a serious workout. The language barrier is a challenge and more than once I asked our guide to tell him, "Please don't touch." He tried very hard to obey, and would remember for a while, but then curiosity would get the better of him and once again he'd want to explore. When he turned a 200 year-old opium pipe into a rifle, I knew it was time to move on. Our travel companions, parents of the charming and beautiful Elita, said that their 4 year-old son at home would have been equally challenged, so I know that most boys of this age would not be impressed with embroidery and antiques. The funny thing is, after reading his referral paperwork, the song that kept coming to my head during our wait when I'd think of XiXi was that song from the Curious George movie, "Upside Down." It's a perfect theme song for our Yi man and one I will use when I create his adoption video.

"He is fond of the food he never eats."

Holy cow, does this boy love to chur. Anyone looking at him would assume he can put away the food and they'd be right. On Gotcha' Day, I noticed a bulge in each of his coat pockets. I unzipped the pockets and discovered two packets of pills with directions written on the bags in Mandarin. I had our guide tell us what it said and she told us that they were digestion pills to give him 3 times a day, "because sometimes he eats more than he should." We haven't been giving him the pills (our guide is not happy with us) because 1) I have no idea what's in them, 2) I doubt we could get that particular brand of ancient Chinese secret in the U.S. anyway, and 3) we'll just make sure that he doesn't eat more than he should. So far, we've been O.K. I do have to disagree with the nannies though about him being fond of the food he never eats. Lyle gave him some shredded cabbage the other day and after trying a bite, he promptly tilted his plate over the side of the table and scraped it onto the floor with his chopsticks. We felt rather shocked at this behavior and told him to not do that. He gave us a look of complete innoncence, shrugged, and said, "Boo how chur." Bad food. Simple as that. We have since learned that it's totally acceptable in the foster village, where they often eat outside, to dump your food on the floor. It doesn't really fly in the U.S. though. Thankfully, he's only done it once. Maybe it's just that cabbage is the only chur that he finds boo how. Entirely possible.

"He is active."

This phrase, repeated more than once in his paperwork, worried me. Of course, everyone wants children that are active, but I wondered exactly how active. Was he active like, get this kid into sports because he'll be great? Or was he active like, get this kid on ritalin now because that is the only way you'll survive? I'm thankful to say that he's just a normal, healthy little boy type of active. He certainly has his moments of being a little too active, but for the most part, he's extremely well-behaved. And under the present circumstances, I can't believe how well-behaved he really is. The other day, when he was a little too wound up, one of the kids told him to calm down and he started doing this zen-like meditation thing with deep breathing and funny arm movements. The kids all laughed and said that they taught him that. He is such a mimic and such a complete and total ham.

"He is smart."

Absolutely, without a doubt, true. I have to keep reminding myself that he's only 3 because not only does he physically look older than that, mentally he seems older too. It's strange even to me that I'd make that assesment when we can hardly communicate verbally, but you can just see that he does not miss a thing. I also know that I'm getting only a fraction of what he can do and what he knows. I've heard him count up to 15 in Mandarin and get the impression that he could keep going. He knows many songs and loves it when we all sing with him the "Two Tigers" song, a traditional Madarin children's song that we learned before we left. And of course, being a Yi man, with the tiger totem, how could he not like the lao hu song?

"He has consistent language."

He speaks so clearly and although he chatters at us in Mandarin, it's obvious that he knows we don't understand. What a sad thing for this little boy. If he really wants to say something, he knows he has to come to mom for his best hope of being understood. Sometimes I can get the gist of it, but oftentimes not. The few phrases that everyone knows, he uses often and says them with a big smile. I don't know if we're making more progress teaching him English or if he's making more progress teaching us Mandarin. I was reading him a baby board book the other day that had a single picture on each page, showing parts of the body. I'd say foot, he'd shake his head and say, "zu". That went on through the whole book with me saying the English word and him correcting me in Mandarin. At one point, he turned and looked at me and gave me this deeply concerned look that seemd to say, "Really, woman. This is like basic." The kids are learning some of his phrases too and will tell us bizarre English/Mandarin things like, "XiXi wants to chur." or "XiXi yows (wants) something." When the kids were wanting to buy some souveniers yesterday and Rose was holding up a little doll she wanted to buy, XiXi said to the woman at the stall, "Dwo shaow chen?" (How much is it?) XiXi is also learning some English. His first English phrase (I'm embarassed to say) was "Come on." We've been on the go, O.K.? He will learn English quickly, I have no doubt.

"He is lovely."

I can't imagine that any Yi man worth his salt would appreciate being called lovely, but as his Mama, I think it's true. Honestly, when I first saw him on Gotcha' Day, he was so much older-looking and so much bigger than I'd envisioned, that I had a hard time aligning the "real" XiXi with the pictures that I'd studied for months. It made me a little sad because I so dearly loved those pictures. Now, of course I still love those younger pictures, but I also love my big lug of a boy. He is lovely, don't you think?

"He cares everyone and everything around him."

This had to be my very favorite sentence in all of his paperwork and the one that I hoped most sincerely was true. I'm happy to say that despite the Yi man exterior, this boy has the heart of a teddy bear. That's not to say that we haven't had to remind him to be gentle, because we certainly have, but his usual demeanor is total love bug.

He initiated this little snuggle fest with Rose while watching a show at the Minority Village. It just melted my heart. He adores his two oldest sisters, much to their delight. He also loves Gu Gu and Xiao Jie Jie, but I think Gu Gu intimidates him a little and with Xiao Jie Jie, he's trying to establish his place. For her part, Cholita has been wonderfully patient with him. The other night at dinner, when XiXi was playing with his knife, I took it away from him. He seemed fine with that, but then looked over at Xiao Jie Jie and quickly took her knife away too and gave it to me. His message was clear: "If I can't have it, Xiao Jie Jie shouldn't have it either." There have been some squabbles, but they've been minor and short-lived. I expected worse, and that certainly may come in the future, but his go-to personality appears to be very loving.

I'll admit that I asked him to do this, but the fact that he did says something about our guy. He's Yi man tiger on the outside, kitten on the inside.

"He can cross buttons with glass fibers."
Still no clue.

It's very late/early here, so I'd better try for some sleep. I'm still not on China time. Tomorrow we make the long trip (2 1/2 hours) out to the famous Stone Forest and then we'll go to his finding location. I got a lump in my throat just typing that. The next day Lyle, Bruder, and Cholita will leave for home and I'll travel to Guangzhou with the rest of the crew. Our time in Kunming is quickly coming to an end. We've loved his city and will always be so thankful that they've allowed us to claim one of their precious strong Yi men as our own.

Kunming--Day 2 With Xi Xi

2011-03-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Did I mention yesterday that we loved this boy? Well, we love him that much more today. And guess what? He likes us too! He really likes us!
Before I say more, I need to give credit to our four older children. We are so very glad that we brought them. Even yesterday during XiXi's moments of intense distress, the kids remained calm and loving. Cholita rubbed his back and all of them repeated the words of comfort that we'd practiced at home. They play with him and act silly with him and somehow, without the English language, Cholita and XiXi created an imaginary ice cream delivery service. Cholita takes the order (mint chocolate chip, cotton candy, black licorice, etc.) and then she'll take the order to XiXi and the two of them have a dual language conversation that somehow seems to make sense to both of them and then they run around making deliveries. It's a total mystery to me.

XiXi calls Lucy "Da Jie Jie" (big big sister), Rose is "Chong Jie Jie" (middle big sister), and Cholita is "Xiao Jie Jie" (little big sister). He likes his dad and his big brother, he loves his mom, but he adores his sisters.

This photo was taken on Gotcha' Day before we left the hotel for Wal-Mart. It's absolutely incredible to me that just hours before he was in complete despair at the very idea of going anywhere with us. At Wal-Mart, we walked by the electronics department and he saw himself on a security camera and hammed it up.

Last night, he went to sleep very easily and during the night I heard him whimper a few times, but he never really woke up. Twice in his sleep he said, "Jie Jie". I don't know if he was dreaming about his Jie Jie Lianne or his new Jie Jie's. Either way, I woke Lyle up and told him what he'd just said. We had a middle of the night whispered conversation that included lots of, "Can you believe how amazing this little boy is?" and a very healthy dose of, "We are so blessed." When he woke up in the morning, I suspected that we'd have tears, but instead he greeted us with a smile and "Mama! Baba!" and big hugs. Then he went looking for his various sizes of Jie Jies and his Gu Gu and expected good morning hugs from them as well. We let him pick his outfit for the day and he chose a funny shirt our neighbors had given us. On the top it says, "What's for lunch?", very appropriate for Xi Xi.

On the way to breakfast he taught Xiao Jie Jie the ever-important peace sign. And at the breakfast table he taught us that chopsticks can be turned into a machine gun, complete with sound effects. He likes cars, trucks, balls, and weapons. Yep, he's a boy.

And there's not really any story to go with this photo, it just makes me incredibly happy.

After breakfast we went to Green Lake Park. He danced along with the fan dancers, sang along with the singers, and just had a blast. He stuck close to Jie Jies Chong and Da. He's such a ladies man.

We found some little rides for Xi Xi and Xiao Jie Jie and I got a lump in my throat thinking that this was the first time he's been on a ride with a mom waving and shooting pictures and just doing the normal mom thing. Choosing an older child, we knew we'd missed many firsts, but it makes these other "firsts" so very special.

We came home for lunch, games, and a nap and then went to visit the orphanage. I was nervous and wondered if I should bring him at all. Would he be terrified, thinking we were bringing him back? Would he see Auntie and want to go back? I asked our guide to please explain to him that we were not staying, but just visiting to say good-bye and bring gifts. He nodded and we walked in. Immediately after stepping off the bus, we heard excited cries of "Xi Xi!!! Xi Xi!!!" and a nanny put her arms out and he ran to her. She asked him who we were and he proudly told her that we were his family.

She told him she loved him and that she'd miss him. Next we saw Auntie from Gotcha' Day. He gave her a very luke-warm welcome and she checked his clothing. Even though my other kids were dressed very lightly, I'd put 3 layers on his top because I wanted them to think I was a good mother. She shook her head that he didn't have enough clothes on and our guide scolded me that I need to dress him warmly.

He seems to have been a favorite there, with everyone calling his name and hugging him. We were allowed to ask questions, give gifts and see the rooms in the orphanage that they wanted to show us. The facility we saw was very clean, sterile is the word Lyle used, and modern-looking. In the baby room we oohed and ahhed over the most beautiful, precious babies. I saw the room where Xi Xi lived. It was nice, with a bookshelf, a couple of toys, a cabinet for clothes, and a cute little toddler bed. We weren't allowed to take any photos inside the orphanage, but got a few of the outside of the buildings. When it was time to go, he waved bye-byes to the nannies and Auntie told him to be a good boy and that she'd miss him.

He smiled at us, held our hands, and climbed the steps into the bus. Auntie stood outside waving until our bus turned onto the street. Xi Xi never looked back.

At the hotel, Lyle introduced him to "Smack the Stack".

I think he liked it.

We are in love with our boy.